If you've seen the Call the Midwife season 15 finale, you'll most likely be sobbing on your sofa, wondering if life will ever be the same again.
Half way through the season it appeared the writing was on the wall for Sister Monica Joan's (Judy Parfitt) death. We hoped we were simply being handed a red herring, and the beloved nun would live to see another year at Nonnatus House.
Devastatingly, this wasn't another tease. Sister Monica Joan has had her final requiem and been escorted to whatever comes after death by old friend Sister Evangelina (Pam Ferris,) in the perfect cameo that wouldn't have left a dry eye in any household tuning in.
And did you spot the Easter Egg in the Christmas special that "foretold" her death? We didn't either, but Sister Monica Joan kindly points it out to Sister Catherine (Molly Vevers,) and to the audience.
"You foretold it," she tells the younger nun of her imminent departure. She recalls Mr Fisher (Henry goodman), the terminally ill guest star for the 2025 Christmas special with whose death Sister Monica Joan was involved.
"When he died, he was met by all who loved him," she tells Sister Catherine," adding, "and you said the Sisters would come for me." And they begin to arrive in the season 15 finale, just as Sister Catherine suggested.
In our opinion, the death of the nun, midwife and Poplar legend, couldn't have been handled any better and was flawless in every way. A masterclass in palliative care, her medical, emotional, and spiritual needs were met with love and tenderness by those caring for her, and her wishes central to it all.
Sister Monica Joan was herself until the very end, determined to handle death her own way - from refusing treatment for her chronic kidney disease and eventual kidney failure, to planning her funeral just how she wanted it, to leaving a long list of final requests.
"I cannot rest, lest my farewell is not managed in the way it ought to be," she tells undertaker Bernie Mullucks, fittingly back for season 15 to give viewers insight into daughter and thalidomide victim Susan's life, while being involved in Sister Monica Joan's death.
Bernie points out that "We generally deal with the deceased," while next making the important point that "caring for the dying matters just as much."
Both characters send such an important message here - we don't talk about dying enough, and there's still so much fear and stigma attached to having frank conversations about death.
It's typical of Sister Monica Joan to be a trailblazer, even back in the 70s - she always had been, and is now normalising death for those watching her final moments.
Making her death wishes clear, she paved the way for Sister Catherine (Molly Vevers, who has been excellent this season,) to start accepting her choices about refusing treatment, while leaving her final days unencumbered by anxiety that her final choices might not be met.
Despite the talk of imminent death, and a lovely journey around the East End in a wheelchair, sharing stories of babies delivered and of days gone by with the locals she's helped so much in her life, we still held out hope even at this point, that Sister Monica Joan would have a reprieve - the idea of the show without her seemed so sad.
The denial continued even as the cake-loving nun announced she wanted to be buried at the Mother House and have her final requiem in the local Poplar church. Sister Monica Joan however, remained as accepting and fearless of her fate as ever.
In the most Sister Monica Joan moment in history, our hope for her future continued when she made the delightful request for her first ever gin and tonic - surely a sip of that would give her the boost she needed to continue?
"I declare myself enamoured!" is the reaction to the nun's first ever taste of the famous beverage, and it seems Sister Monica Joan is now satisfied she's had all the experiences she needs in life.
Changes to her breathing, visions of nuns she once knew, and the writing on the wall is now more of a glaring gate next to the nun's bed with "heaven" emblazoned across it. It was at that point we had to accept this was really happening.
It's sad, but an absolutely beautiful moment when Sister Monica Joan opens her eyes and recognises her friend, Sister Evangelina, sheer joy in her eyes.
Stepping back into character as though she never left, Pam Ferris brings Sister Evangelina at her finest.
"Some of us know when a job needs finishing. You meanwhile, have shilly shallied long enough," is delivered with her unbeatable brand of hard-as-nails no nonsense, yet tender hearted manner.
The afterlife is "everything we were promised, and all that you have worked for," according to Sister Evangelina, who hung up her habit back in season 5. With that, Sister Monica Joan's soul departs her body and she leaves for a well-earned eternal rest.
Leaving her humour and personality to still touch those earthside, Sister Monica Joan's final wishes include an adamance that she be taken to the church on a Costermonger's cart.
Farewell, Sister Monica Joan. Your character has shaped Call the Midwife from the beginning, and will leave a lasting legacy on the show now you've gone. And thank you, Judy Partfitt, for bringing such an incredible character to life.
All 15 seasons of Call the Midwife and all Christmas specials are available to view on BBC iPlayer.
