A brother has spoken of his family’s heartache in the months following his younger sibling’s death by suicide earlier this year.
Christopher Thom died suddenly in Coalisland in March, just two weeks after he was the best man at his brother Shane Gervin’s wedding.
Local suicide prevention charity the Niamh Louise Foundation says it has received an alarming increase in the amount of bereaved families coming through its doors in the last 12 months.
READ MORE: Community rallies for 'devastated' Co Tyrone mum of five with terminal cancer ahead of wedding day
Speaking to Belfast Live, Shane said his 24-year-old brother Christopher had been at his happiest just a fortnight before he took his own life.
“My younger brother Christoper died suddenly on 12 March 2023 and to be honest I just don’t want any other family to go through what we’ve went through,” Shane said.
“He was the most happy-go-lucky person ever, he always took other people’s feelings into consideration but never really looked after himself.
“He worked in a care home looking after the elderly and they were his best friends. They loved him and he loved them.
“Two weeks before the incident he was the best man at my wedding and he was happy, that was the biggest privilege of his life to be best man.
“Little did we know two weeks later the whole world would come crushing down.
“We didn’t know he was suffering from mental health issues. He was hurting himself and keeping it a secret.
“If he had known there was support out there for him, we wouldn’t be in this situation here right now.
“I can’t actually put into words what way I am feeling at the minute, and having to be sitting here doing this just doesn’t feel normal to me.
“He’s a bigger loss than he ever thought he would have been. The family is in tatters. It has just ripped the family to complete shreds.
“It’s going to take a very long time, if it does ever get back to normal.”
Speaking about the moment he received a phone call to hear what had happened, Shane said he went into shock.
“My body went pure blank. I can’t actually remember all the moments up to it because I think shock kicked in,” he says.
“I just broke down and collapsed, it was horrific. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody’s family, I hope no other family has to go through it.
“We didn’t have any signs of it. Christopher kept all his feelings intact, he was nearly afraid to offend someone or of people slagging him.
“It felt like someone has just pulled my heart out to be completely honest.
“He was the biggest part of my life, that’s why he was my best man and my best friend.”
It is the second time that the family has gone through the pain of suicide bereavement, with Shane saying his uncle also died aged just 33.
“I’m 33 years of age and I’ve known six people personally outside my family who have gone through this, and it’s the second time in my family.
“One girl and the rest were all men, it is a massive problem. I think people think they can’t talk or speak up, but you can.
“During my brother’s wake I heard of three people in the local area who had suffered the same end as Christopher. That’s far too many, it’s three too many.
“It shouldn’t have happened to my brother and it shouldn’t happen to any family.”
Shane called on the government to do more in its efforts to support charities and agencies who offer mental health services.
“We need the government to act and say that this has to stop now.
“We need answers, we need people to push for answers. Our communities are crumbling because there is no support from the government.
“We need to stand up now as a community and push the government, they have to act now, not later.
“I just want men to be able to speak up. There’s always someone there, and if you can’t find someone there, I’ll be there. I’ll be there to listen to anyone’s problems because I don’t want another person to go through what we are feeling right now.”
If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone about mental health issues you can call the Samaritans on 116123 or Lifeline on 0808 808 8000.
Video: Harry Bateman
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