A bridesmaid has candidly opened up about the “financial burden” of being in her friend’s wedding.
In recent years, both guests and bridal parties have complained about the rising costs of participating in their friend or family member’s wedding festivities. Similarly, one woman recently vented about the challenges of being a bridesmaid in a post shared to the popular “Wedding Drama” Reddit forum, as she claimed that “weddings are getting out of hand.”
Her post began: “I’ve been a bridesmaid in a few weddings and will be in another one in the new year and it is genuinely becoming a financial burden!”
She explained that before her friend’s wedding next year, the bride opted to have a bachelorette party “out of state.” As a result, the bridesmaid had to take time off work for the trip and spend money on plane tickets, Airbnb accommodations, and “other random activities.”
“The [maid of honor] asked us all to pitch in $200 each for the BRIDAL SHOWER,” the woman continued. “This is not my wedding nor did the planning of the shower include me.”
She admitted that she was “not aware” of everything she was expected to pay for when she agreed to be a bridesmaid, and described how these costs have added up.
“Between the shower, bachelorette, dress, and hotel for the wedding, I’m spending WAY more than I did on my own marriage!” she wrote. “Why are we normalizing this behavior? I am so happy to celebrate my friend’s special day, but it’s getting out of hand.”
She claimed that she doesn’t think “it’s fair to ask bridesmaids to go on a whole vacation” to celebrate a wedding, which she called “a mostly normal life experience.”
The woman also criticized what wedding culture in America has ultimately become, as she wrote: “What happened to just getting together a few days before the wedding to celebrate? In the same state that the wedding is going to be in? This has also been my experience in literally every wedding I’ve been in, not just this one in particular.”
She concluded: "Maybe I’m just bitter and should not have agreed to be a bridesmaid, but it’s very difficult and awkward to just say no and I do love my friend and want to be there!”
In the comments section, many people agreed with the bridesmaid’s grievances about the expensive responsibility of being in a wedding party.
“Everyone secretly feels this way,” one person simply responded, while another added: “Just say no to bridesmaidhood.”
“After being a bridesmaid twice in one year, I second this post!! It has gotten so ridiculous,” a third user said. “You do it all because you love the bride, your friend, and your relationship with her has been great. It feels selfish and when I get married, I can’t imagine imposing on all my friends them spending their hard-earned money on me just because I decided to get married.”
Other people decided to give the woman some advice, claiming she should’ve set a boundary with the bride and told her what wedding activities she couldn’t financially afford.
“You can say, ‘No. I’d be honored to be in your wedding but this is what I’m willing to do. Please refrain from asking for any further financial assistance. I can’t afford that,’” one Reddit user suggested. “If they can’t handle your boundaries, then offer to withdraw from being a bridesmaid.”
“I feel like a lot of people end up saying yes to things and then complaining about it later, but it’s kind of up to you to set your boundaries,” another wrote. “Bachelorette parties are optional. You don’t have to go just because you’re a bridesmaid. It’s basically a girls’ trip but celebrating a huge life event. Bridal showers are paid for by who’s hosting. You also can say no to random charges you didn’t agree to.”
According to wedding website The Knot, a bridesmaid can spend up to $2,000 as part of their friend’s wedding. Expenses can include the wedding gift, bridesmaid dress, bridal shower gift, and hair and makeup for the wedding. The bachelorette party trip is usually the most expensive, with an average cost of $1,300 per person.
