Save the date cards have long been popular with couples keen to ensure all of their nearest and dearest can attend their nuptials.
But it will be no surprise to learn don't save the date memos aren't so common. Unfortunately, one bride learned this lesson the hard way after revealing her plan to use the tactic online.
Looking for advice, she explained she needed an 'easy, polite, mass' method to get in touch with those who hadn't made the guest list.
However, her plan to send the cards out at the same time as invites proved to be very unpopular, when it was shared on Reddit.
In a post which was shared to a Reddit forum, the scheme went down like a lead balloon.
Titled "Bride wants to send 'you're not invited to my wedding' messages with save the dates", the entry outlined the bride's logic.
She wrote: "How does one NICELY inform people they have not been invited to a wedding?
"I'm inviting only 14 family members to our September 2024 wedding (multiple reasons, but mainly because of cost and occupancy limit)."
The wedding planner added: "I want an easy, polite, mass way to inform people they've not been invited and why.
"I was thinking I could include a note letter in the Engagement announcements or Save-The-Dates. Any ideas welcome."
But instead of sharing advice, several people were quick to ridicule her question.
"She might as well say gifts are welcome. You are not," thought one commenter. A second wrote: "Gross. She wants people to send her gifts but not invite them."
But another said: "[I don't know] where y'all get the idea they just want gifts??? They're asking what the protocol is for telling people they're not invited. That's it. They're just worried about offending people."
Meanwhile, someone claimed: "The correct etiquette for this is to send out a wedding announcement AFTER the wedding."
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