A common group of people invited to watch a bride try on dresses for her big day include her bridesmaids, sisters, and her mother.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, one bride-to-be explained how her mother’s constant intervening has reached a head when she booked her an appointment to get her wedding dress altered.
“Throughout my life, she’s sent me numerous packages of clothes, always unsolicited, and mostly not my style. I’ve tried to politely return the items I don’t like, but this hasn’t stopped her from sending more,” her post began.
Despite the two’s different styles, her mother was still invited to watch her try on dresses, although “she pushed for a matronly dress that I hated, and dismissed the ones I liked”. After trying on enough dresses her entire party had agreed on which one looked “the most flattering”.
One day later, her mother had a new opinion on the dress, saying it was now “too revealing.” “She showed photos of me in it to her friends at my grandmother’s funeral to get validation. She claimed that they all agreed with her and suggested we go shopping again, which I refused,” the post continued.
Even though she was happy with her dress choice, another dress shopping appointment was booked, which featured the bride’s mother showing the staff photos of her chest.
The bride’s mother then decided she would be involved in picking out a rehearsal dress for her daughter despite her insistence that she could handle the matter herself. “After I flew back home, she began sending rehearsal dinner dress options to my house, none of which suited me and were all returned,” the bride wrote on Reddit. “Each dress was either not my style or the wrong size. Despite my polite returns and clear communication, she persisted in sending more.”
AITA for telling my mom that she's ruining my wedding
byu/xoxo_gamergorl inAmItheAsshole
When she arrived to pick up her dress from her parents’ house, she received a text from her mother explaining that she booked an appointment to get her gown altered and made “less revealing.”
“I told her that the prior dress shopping experience had been extremely upsetting for me and that I couldn’t handle it again,” the Reddit post read. “Her response was dismissive, stating that both dress shopping experiences had been traumatizing for her too. At this, I lost it and told her that her constantly bulldozing and manipulating me has ruined my wedding.”
“I know my mom genuinely wants to be involved in my life and my wedding, but her constant interference and insistence on her taste over mine are making what should be a joyful planning process into a nightmare,” her post concluded.
Many people ended up taking to the comments section after the bride posted to let her know that she made the right decision and that her mother was overstepping about a wedding that wasn’t her own.
“You are standing your ground for YOUR wedding,” one comment began. “It’s about your taste and preference. There are certainly some compromises to be made, but your wedding dress is important to your experience.”
Other commenters agreed that her mother was a problem, but she also should’ve been more careful about agreeing to go to the extra appointments her mother booked.
“She’s doing this because you’re allowing her to. You don’t have to be super polite to someone who refuses to accept your boundaries. Just say no. Don’t elaborate, don’t explain. You have no obligation to get her to understand your viewpoint. Don’t even try to,” another comment read.
“If she carries on, you end the conversation by putting the phone down, walking away etc. Do not allow her bulls*** for one moment longer. You are an adult. I bet you’d never accept this horses*** from one of your friends or a co-worker, for example. Just cos she’s your mom doesn’t mean you have to put up with this nonsense.”
“Be judicious with the information you supply her, she doesn’t need it all. It’s really important to nip this in the bud now before god forbid you have children. Good for you for telling her off eventually.”
