A bride has been defended after she refused to let her fiancé’s female best friend come to their wedding.
In a post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a woman opened up about her six-year relationship with her partner, explaining they’ve been engaged for more than two years. She acknowledged that while her and her fiancé’s families get along great, she has had issues with his female best friend.
“Said best friend has never liked me and seemingly had it out for me the entire time,” she wrote. “She basically ignores my existence, refuses to speak or be cordial to me, but as soon as she sees my partner, she yells and hugs him talking about ‘hey best friend,’ while ignoring me even though I’m right next to him.”
She noted that when she told her partner how she felt about the friend, it went unaddressed at first, since he “‘needed proof’ to make sure there was an issue.” The bride claimed that once there was “proof”, her partner spoke to his friends and things “got a little better” in a group setting. However, she added that her partner later encouraged her to confront his friend about the problem.
“She indicated she doesn’t have a problem with me, so he felt I am the only one having an issue and I need to just approach her and talk it out. I told him I’m not doing that cause she isn’t my friend and HE needs to do so,” the woman wrote.
She then explained another incident at a party when her partner’s friend was unkind to her, which he ultimately saw himself.
“I attempted to make eye contact and say hello two to three times but she avoided me and refused to look at me the whole time,” she continued. “My fiancé noticed because it was so blatant. I don’t want her respect, don’t need her to like me, don’t honestly want her around at all. I just want her to have basic human decency.”
She went on to explain how she was considering ending the relationship, since she felt like her “fiancé was in the wrong for engaging with [his female friend] after seeing how she completely disregards” the Reddit poster.
She concluded by sharing that she and her partner had an argument about the situation, before she decided his friend was banned from their wedding.
“I think now, but mostly after marriage, we’re supposed to be a unit and I wouldn’t allow this behavior from a friend,” she added. “We spent the better half of a nice drunken evening arguing about this, and I told him she can’t come to our wedding, as I won’t have someone who can’t seem to stand me near me.”
The post has quickly gone viral on Reddit, with more than 2,800 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride, noting that she shouldn’t invite her fiancé’s friend to the wedding. They also encouraged her to re-examine her feelings about her long-term relationship and criticized his female friend.
AITA for not allowing my fiancés BF come to our wedding?
byu/xxoraclexx33 inAmItheAsshole
“He cares more about her feelings than yours. Think about that for a moment. He should have shut this down the second he saw her treating you like this,” one wrote. “The problem lies with your fiancé.”
“I would be rethinking this relationship as well. If he won’t stand up for you and defend you he’s not worth marrying,” another added.
“She’s in love with your man. Upset that he’s with you and pretending like you don’t exist makes her feel better. She won’t say or do anything to make him upset,” a third claimed about the fiancé’s female friend. “She’s saying she has no problem with you because the problem isn’t with you, technically it’s with him.”
In a follow-up to the post, the woman revealed that she’s had a few conversations with her fiancé about the situation, noting he told her “he didn’t want to end his friendship or do anything to jeopardize it” in case his relationship ended. According to the Reddit user, this made her realize he “would not protect [her] as his wife, since he didn’t as his girlfriend.”
She added that when she expressed that she didn’t want to ignore the situation, he claimed that while he knew his friend “treated her like garbage,” the Reddit poster was “allowing one person to dictate [their] relationship.”
The woman then acknowledged that after the conversation, she not only called off the engagement, but she ended her relationship.
