Wales midfielder Will Vaulks has opened up about the heartbreaking loss of his two granddads who took their own lives within months of each other when he was a teenager.
The former Cardiff City man, who now plays for newly-promoted Sheffield Wednesday, was just 13 when his paternal grandfather Tom took his own life at the age of 67 in 2007. He later lost his Welsh granddad Hywel, 78, in similar circumstances 13 months later.
Vaulks is now commemorating both men by taking part in the UK’s biggest ever suicide prevention campaign, carrying a 'Baton of Hope' in their memory to encourage more people to speak out and ask for help with their mental health.
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In a brave interview on BBC Breakfast, the 29-year-old spoke of the impact the double tragedy had on him and his family as he revealed his maternal grandfather Hywel took his own life the day after coming to watch him play football one last time.
Sharing memories of both men, he said: "My granddad Tom, my dad's dad, he was one of those grandparents where, when he came down to look after us, he always used to say 'when the cat's away, the mice will play'. So when my mum and dad were away there was no bed times, we'd play rough and tumble, I always remember wrestling with him and jumping in rivers.
"My other granddad Hwyel, my mum's dad on the Welsh side of my family, he was very much a family man, quiet and so loving. Two very different people but I couldn't ask for more growing up from both my granddads."
But Vaulks' world was shattered when Tom took his own life just months after a previous suicide attempt, for which he had received mental health support.
"I think that was the first time I ever saw my dad cry," he said. "We never said he was clearly struggling with his mental health, those words weren't used. It is really sad to have somebody taken out your life and for them to think that that's the best way out. We'd have loved to have had him for another 10 or 15 years."
Just over a year later, with the family still grieving Tom's death, they were faced with another sudden, heartbreaking loss as Hywel also took his own life, hours after seeing his grandson play for Tranmere Rovers.
"My mum was in the car with the police dogs looking for my granddad and as far as I'm aware, she came around the corner and found him. That was just a complete shock and you wouldn't have expected that at all.
"Chances are he was thinking, 'I'll go and watch Will play football' and then that night told my mum he loved her. The next morning he killed himself. We don't really know the ins and outs of why, which is hard because we didn't have chance to have conversations or to get help or to put things in place. I think, honestly if we had have known and managed to get him the help that he needed, it could have been prevented."
Having played for Rotherham, Falkirk, Cardiff City and now Wednesday, as well as winning seven Wales caps, Vaulks admitted it was difficult to think about everything that his two grandparents had missed, with the midfielder recently getting choked up while looking through old photos of them.
"It is often in the back of my mind," he said. "I'm not a big crier but my mum sent me the pictures for this interview and I cried in the car with my little boy in the back because I just thought, they've missed out on so much.
"It's not just me playing football, my sister's a doctor which I know would have made my granddad so proud, while my brother is successful with his business too. They've missed so much but that's just the reality of of suicide."
Asked what he would have told his grandparents had he had the chance, Vaulks replied:. "I think just how much they're loved. People who take their own lives, they've somehow managed to blank that out, that you're so loved by so many people."
To try and prevent more families from going through the same ordeal, the former Bluebird is supporting the Baton of Hope Tour, carrying the baton from Hillsborough on the Sheffield leg of its 12-city tour, which will ultimately end at 10 Downing Street on July 6.
Co-founded by former Sky News reporter Mike McCarthy, whose son Ross took his own life in 2021, the initiative is the largest of its kind to ever be held in the UK, with famous faces, campaigners and those with lived experience of mental ill health all helping the baton on its journey.
The campaign will arrive in Cardiff on Saturday, July 1, with the baton set to be carried through the streets of the capital. Following broadly the half marathon route from Bute Park, it will pass Cardiff City Stadium, Cardiff Bay Barrage and the Senedd en route to its final stop, Cardiff Arms Park.
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
