Boris Johnson has admitted that he was called a "w******" by a complete stranger as he ran through a London park.
The shamed former Prime Minister recounted that he was plodding on his morning run when a jogger hurled the insult at him.
In a rambling speech in Westminster, he also said he used to enjoy telling a joke about Prince Andrew being arrested - before his own Partygate fine.
He said that he would find it "very difficult" to support Rishi Sunak's Brexit deal.
Talking about the encounter with the younger jogger, Mr Johnson said: "Some fit young geezer shot past me... he sang out a cheery London greeting - 'w*****' he said.
"I'm normally impervious to these type of things but I'm afraid this time I seethed, I thought 'you rotter'."
But he continued: "Then I relaxed and thought what a wonderful country we are and how fortunate I am to be shouted at on my morning run.
"If you doubt that, imagine Vladimir Putin running round Red Square and being shouted at. They would scatter from his path like pigeons."
He described it as an example of "the freedom to say more or less what you like to whomsoever you choose".
Mr Johnson continued: "I used to make a joke about how they once arrested Prince Andrew in the shrubbery at Buckingham Palace, I thought it was pretty funny until they actually fined me for having lunch at my cabinet table in No10 Downing Street."
Mr Johnson said he still didn't "understand the rationale", but said it demonstrated that the law could be applied to all.
The ex-PM went on to describe Labour leader Keir Starmer as a "human bollard" and said: "By the way I just want to point out that when I stepped down we were only a handful of points behind the Labour Party."
Rounding on Mr Sunak's Windsor Framework, announced earlier this week, Mr Johnson said: "We must be clear about what's really going on here. This isn't about the UK taking control."
He continued: "This is the EU graciously unbending to allow us to do what we want in our own country, not by our laws but by theirs.
"This deal helps to accomplish the key objective that I spoke of, it acts as a drag anchor on divergence which is the point of Brexit.
"I'm going to find it difficult to vote for something like this myself because I believe we should have done something different."
Earlier this week, Rishi Sunak issued a veiled warning to Boris Johnson not to undermine his new Brexit deal - insisting it isn't about "personalities".
The Prime Minister admitted that the controversial Northern Ireland Protocol - signed by Mr Johnson - needed fixing as he mounted a charm offensive to promote his Brexit agreement.
After years of Brexit wrangling, Mr Sunak and EU chief Ursula von der Leyen struck a new deal this week aimed at ironing out trading issues in Northern Ireland caused by the UK's departure from the EU.
