Like a serially unfaithful husband pleading with his much-betrayed wife for one last chance – a speech he’s had plenty of practice at – Boris Johnson is telling anyone prepared to listen that he can change. Don’t kick me out of the house, so he begs Tory MPs with their fingers on the trigger of a confidence vote, I will prove to you that I can be a different man.
He did the same after the release of Sue Gray’s heavily circumscribed, and yet still highly damning, preliminary report about the orgy of lockdown-busting booze-ups at Number 10. Unable to quarrel with her conclusion that there were “failures of leadership and judgment”, the prime minister told the Commons: “I get it and I will fix it.” No, he doesn’t. No, he won’t. Even if this sly old leopard sincerely wanted to change his spots, he is incapable of it. The Conservative MPs who are invited to meetings with him hear faux-earnest pledges that he will pay more attention to their views in future and assemble a more professional team at Number 10. Only the hopelessly credulous will believe this.
