At one point in the week there was international cricket, the Tour de France, and the Open on the TV at the same time.
Throw in the Tory leadership race and it was a dangerous day for gambling.
Mercifully, I’m frozen out at the moment, due to having to save up the best part of a grand for an emergency root canal.
I could write this whole thing about the state of UK dentistry but I know the bloke who’s due to be drilling into my head a week today reads it.
In fact, Dr Rasul is a gentle and hugely professional dental practitioner, probably the finest in the world.
Bizarrely, this column has a following among the East London dental community as well as people who make a note of everything I predict then immediately bet – heavily – against it. Many of them are filthy rich through this system. One – on the back of my Brexit prediction – has bought a small place in the Dordogne.
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Anyway, this is all procrastination and I apologise. This heatwave is ridiculous. I don’t know what it’s like where you are but in Central London it’s like Mars.
All my plants have died and the lawn looks like something that if you won the toss you wouldn’t want to bat last on.
It makes it very difficult to concentrate – particularly on this uninspiring Tory leadership contest.
The first TV debate was bad enough on Friday and there’s yet more to come tomorrow.
The prospect of watching it again in this infernal heat is the sort of the thing they used to do to people at Guantanamo Bay – cruel and unusual, which is probably who will make it to the last two.
It really is difficult to pick between them. To be honest, I quite like the noises Rishi Sunak was making early on.
Yeah, I know. Multi-millionaire, no working class friends, big swimming pool. But – and I think Kenneth Clarke said this on Newsnight – he was at least realistic about what’s coming up.
Publicly he was saying what we all know – it’s not going to be easy. In fact, that’s the biggest understatement ever. This is going to be a horror show. Game of Thrones type winter. They’re going to put energy bills up in the autumn, plunging millions into further poverty, and then do it AGAIN in the winter.
Inflation is rampant, the public sector is waking up to the fact they’re dangerously underpaid, and Covid is back out and about again.
Mr Sunak knows this. He acknowledged things were going to be tough but then quickly changed his tune when he realised the people who he is up against aren’t interested in telling people the truth.
Billions promised in tax giveaways, Rwanda flights still going on, desperate attempts to ignite some sort of culture war.
Pandering in the extreme. It’s too hot for this lot anyway. A carnival of idiots. It’s an awful thing to say but I really don’t care who wins this one.
I guess for headlines, Penny Mordaunt would be good: Bad Penny, Penny Lame, Penny Dreadful. Suggestions welcome.
