Just out of interest I gave a robot that’s hit the headlines the chance to write the column this week – ChatGPT is a new AI (artificial intelligence) tool that can be trained to write content using huge amounts of web data.
It also has a link to motoring itself – ChatGPT was dreamed up by a tech start-up co-founded by Tesla inventor Elon Musk.
So I sat back (honestly not with a G and T) and asked it for 700 words on the car I’d tested – the new BMW M3 Touring – in the style of motoring journalist Colin Goodwin. It came out of the blocks rather faster than me – going from 0 words to 700 in a dazzling 43 seconds. But unfortunately (or fortunately for my continued employment), it was a bit rubbish.
First, it didn’t tell us that in the 37-year lifetime of the M3 this is the first time a Touring or estate version has been built.
There have been M5 Tourings before (only a couple of generations came to the UK, though) but never BMW’s smaller M car.
As a lover of fast estate cars, especially ones that are not too big and heavy, I’ve been waiting for a long time for the M3 Touring. Mr Chat told us that our test motor was a high performance car but omitted to reveal anything about exactly what makes it do 174mph and 0-62mph in 3.7sec. The M3 uses the same 3.0-litre twin-turbo straight-six cylinder engine as used in the saloon version and M4 coupe – which means a power output of just over 500bhp. According to our artificially intelligent friend, the M3 Touring is rear-wheel drive.
Actually, it’s not. The Touring, unlike the M3 saloon and coupe, is only available with four-wheel drive – or xDrive in BMW’s words. An eight-speed automatic gearbox is standard.
The regular M3 and M4 have been around a while now so there’s not much point in going into the discussion of the cars’ huge radiator grille.
You love it or hate it. I’ve got used to it (Mr Chatty doesn’t give an opinion) and it doesn’t detract from our test car’s fantastic looks in its matt silver paint. Gloss black alloys are wrapped in sticky low-profile Michelin Pilot Sport tyres, and vast ventilated discs can be seen gripped by huge gold-coloured calipers.
There’s more drama as you step inside. The electric sports seats, designed to keep you in place during high G manoeuvres, look the part. And the height adjustment can put you in a position that makes it feel like you’re sitting on the floor.
The steering wheel is the usual BMW chubby-rimmed one but the gearshift paddles are works of art and the two anodised red M1 and M2 buttons are very sexy. You can program each with bespoke settings such as a combination of comfortable ride/louder exhaust/quicker steering – and even a combo that includes no traction control.
The M3 saloon has a ride, even in Comfort mode, that’s verging on too stiff. But the Touring version has a bigger glass area, extra body stiffening at the back and, unlike the saloon, no carbon fibre roof.
So it weighs 85kg more than the saloon and I suspect this extra weight, plus suspension adjustments for the extra luggage capacity, helps smooth the ride. Even Sport mode is not terribly uncomfortable.
Regarding luggage capacity the Touring can carry 500 litres. With a basic price without options of £83,535 I suspect that most owners will not be using their M3 Touring for taking junk to the tip.
No doubt those who can afford this car will also have other vehicles to do the dirty work.
Also, the M3 Touring makes a brilliant high performance car for a family who have a dog.
Now that’s not something Mr Chat would tell you.
