The first of the three-part Sea of Thieves Monkey Island expansion is a mostly painful test of patience for all but the most stalwart of Monkey Island aficionados. A full disclosure up front: I am not the biggest Monkey Island fan. I'm aware of the "legend" of the series, if you will; my colleague Dustin Bailey called it "the greatest adventure game of all time" unironically, but I've personally not played a single game in the series. I have, however, logged hundreds of hours into Sea of Thieves, and I couldn't keep my eyes open for most of this utterly monotonous and shallow collectathon.
Not everything about the Monkey Island DLC disappointed me. The new location, Mêlée Island, is visually distinct from every other Sea of Thieves island I've explored, and I felt some satisfaction piecing together the mystery of Guybrush Threepwood's disappearance, but by and large this is dull stuff.
It's also worth an extra point of clarification that what's available today is only the first of three Tall Tales encompassing the whole of Sea of Thieves' Monkey Island chapter. In fact, creative director Mike Chapman took to Twitter recently to "set expectations" for the first update, explaining that the entirety of Mêlée Island won't be open to players until the second Tall Tale launches next month.
