Bjork, the Halle, no camera phones and a field in rapt…

Bjork, the Halle, no camera phones and a field in rapt silence as Bluedot Festival reaches finale

An eerie hush descends across the fields of Jodrell Bank as an announcement rings out to an expectant crowd waiting for Bjork at the Bluedot Festival finale. "At the request of Bjork please do not photograph or video, this is distracting," a curt voice explains, "Please live in the here and now."

"Yeah good luck with that one," I cackle loudly to my friend as we await the arrival of the Icelandic singing superstar. A little too loudly it transpires - as what feels like a hundred heads swivel around to give me a death stare.

Clearly I had misjudged the mood of an obsessed crowd of Bjork fans around me - as to my utter surprise everyone incredibly, obediently, comply with the no phone rule as they all stare up in rapt adoration at their trailblazing music idol. She floats out onto stage wearing a typically bold ensemble - what might best be described as an intergalactic space worm crossed with an inflated Victorian school ma'am.

It all adds to the dazzling, epic, cinematic performance on this Bjork Orchestral tour, backed at Bluedot by Manchester's own hugely acclaimed Halle Orchestra. Conductor Bjarni Frimann completes the scene wearing a black kilt and calf-suspenders for good measure.

For those in the crowd who had come hoping to hear a bit of Big Time Sensuality and Oh So Quiet, this might not have been what they were expecting. But for those of us crammed in at the front with the die-hard, and I do mean die-hard, Bjork fans, it's a very special and emotional experience.

Grown men are crying. Grown men are literally barking (bjarking?) when anyone around them dared to have a little laugh or talk. "Will you please be quiet," one fumed through gritted teeth next to a group of giggling women next to us.

"Do you think I'm allowed to sing along to this one?" I whispered loudly to my pal, wanting to join in with Bjork as she launched into the anthemic Come To Me. Out came the death stares again which gave me my answer.

You could literally hear a pin drop and I never thought I'd say that in a mud-festooned festival field filled with punch-drunk revellers at the end of three days of hard partying. I admit I found the whole thing surreal and weird and challenging and unlike anything I've experienced before at a festival. But thrilling all the same.

I mean, what's not to love watching Bjork peeking out beneath her maggotty- wrinkled snood to sweetly clip every uttered word with her sweet childlike rasp. On I've Seen It All it brings out the goosebumps as the discordant strings smash against her innocent wail.

Honestly it's like we are all willingly walking to our doom in the best horror movie you've ever seen as the set builds to its crescendo. Naturally, the orchestra soar in triumph on the likes of Isobel and Bachelorette in a beautiful match to Bjork's stunning voice.

She informs us all she's barely out of Covid recovery on this gig and "was afraid she'd not reach the high notes". But of course she actually soared her devotees into the stratosphere with her vocal perfection.

Bjork and the Halle Orchestra at Bluedot Festival 2022 (Santiago Felipe)

With the Lovell Telescope as the eerie backdrop, a buoyant Hyperballad concludes the main set. But that sense of doom returns for the crash of Pluto to leave us all feeling a bit like we've been transported to some alien world as we're sent out into the darkened woods of South Cheshire.