Former Labor leader Bill Shorten has announced his retirement politics after a 17-year career in the game. Though he will not be remembered for winning any elections, he leaves behind a legacy of delivering spicy zingers.
The Minister for the NDIS and Government Services made the announcement at a press conference in Canberra today, alongside Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.
Shorten told the press that he would be remain in his cabinet positions and as MP for Maribyrnong until February next year, when he would take on a new gig as the vice chancellor of the University of Canberra.
Bill Shorten’s exit from politics is a big deal. He first entered politics in 2007 as a mere federal MP, and eventually went on to lead the federal Labor Party from 2013 to 2019.
Bill Shorten announces retirement from politics
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have decided not to seek a seventh term in Parliament,” Shorten revealed.
Reflecting on his almost two-decade-long career in politics, Shorten said he reckons he’s “one of the luckiest people in politics”. He said this, despite the fact he lost two elections, one of which was to Scott Morrison and widely considered “unlosable”.
“I think I am really lucky, I have had the chance to help create, defend and improve the NDIS, I have had the very privileged position to lead Labor, I have had the chance to help the victims of Robodebt,” Shorten said.
“Every day in this job, and I’m sure every member of parliament agrees, is a privileged day.”
The announcement of his retirement comes at a fascinating time. Though there were rumours Shorten would be leaving politics floating around Canberra, he had rejected these claims.
Shorten had faced ongoing criticism for in his role as Minister for the NDIS, as the scheme recently faces a massive funding cut, which advocates for the disability community called a “betrayal”.
He’d also been in hot water recently when it was revealed that he hired a speech writer that was paid $300K a year.
These ups and downs were referenced in part by the retiring MP, who said through his career he’d experienced “some extraordinary political highs … and let’s face it, some extraordinary political lows”.
During his retirement announcement speech, Shorten addressed a few key people and policies he was proud of, including his family and the PM. However, there was one key Shorten element missing from the conference: zesty one-liners.
So in honour of Bill Shorten’s retirement from politics, let’s take a look back at some of his best quips, zingers, and burns from over the years.
Bill Shorten’s best zingers during his political career
Starting off with a classic that made international headlines, here’s Bill calling ScoMo’s COVID-19 vaccine rollout a “shit show”.
Bill shorten calls the vaccine rollout a shit show. #MorrisonShitShow pic.twitter.com/CALgJaAZof
— Daniel (@Danieldfc00) July 12, 2021
Iconic. Love someone who’s not afraid to use good-old Aussie terminology.
Another moment that really showed how the 57-year-old was tapped into the youthful zeitgeist was the time Shorten referenced the Netflix hit Squid Game.
Ridiculous that climate progress in this country is now subject to the Squid Game going on between Barnaby & the PM. 🦑🦑🦑 #auspol pic.twitter.com/0aKLsGP8Tf
— Bill Shorten (@billshortenmp) October 18, 2021
Do I think Bill Shorten actually watched Squid Game? No. Do I care? Also no.
Now with great zingers come great responsibility, and attention from his foes. So what was Bill to do when Morrison called him out for having an “ill-fitting suit“?
He used Scott’s words against him, that’s what.
Bill Shorten Zingers Strike Again On The Project Tonight 7 Jun – 2017 pic.twitter.com/bJZqShYkyh
— 💧DUKE Clyde (HANSARD)CFW9 (Biden-Harris ELECT)💧 (@nobby15) June 7, 2017
Morrison’s time as PM truly did give Bill a new golden-era of zingers actually, a real wealth of material — like the time Bill called him a “simp”.
#auspol
— LORD ♛ Tom Wynn THE WOKE BLOKE ⚫️ (@mister_wynn) August 16, 2020
And just like that Bill Shorten
delivers Snotty a new name…. #ScottyTheSimp
Bill is a "zinger" legend. pic.twitter.com/gvZlArJvx2
Bill didn’t just get sassy about Scotty though. He wasn’t afraid to flex his wit against members of the public on ABC’s Q+A.
Bill Shorten #ZINGER: "Sorry Tony, I didn't mean to interrupt your question with an answer" #ausvotes #AusPol pic.twitter.com/cwaOC89T1P
— Kiera (@KieraGorden) June 13, 2016
As a union man through-and-through, Bill Shorten’s greatest political rival may have been Scott Morrison, but his real enemy was always “the brute face of capitalism” as he said here to the National Press Club.
A Bill Shorten zinger to help explain the frustration of dealing with Services Australia.#auspol #NPC pic.twitter.com/TJQGQr5dUJ
— Squizz (@SquizzSTK) April 18, 2023
Farewell Bill Shorten. Hope you use all this extra time to continue crafting your zingers.
[Image: Getty]
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