Give us your tired, your poor, your muddled messes yearning to make threes.
Teams from all corners of the Big Ten world will feel Chicago’s warm embrace this week, from the good ones to the so-so ones to the “look away, it’s too painful to watch” ones. The 25th conference tournament — and the 11th played at the United Center — begins Wednesday.
On the chances of each squad, in order of seeding, to cut down the nets:
1. PURDUE (26-5, 15-5)
Next up: Michigan-Rutgers winner, 11 a.m. Friday, BTN.
Title odds: +175 on FanDuel.
Snip? National player of the year Zach Edey just has to stay on the floor, up his dominance a notch and — the biggie — get the help he needs from a standard-issue supporting cast.
Or slip? The Boilermakers have lost four of their last eight, including two to Indiana. If they don’t quickly get back in touch with their former selves, they’re going down.
2. NORTHWESTERN (21-10, 12-8)
Next up: Illinois-Penn State winner, 5:30 p.m. Friday, BTN.
Title odds: +1000.
Snip? The Wildcats won six conference road games — which means they’re fearless — and have two scorers in Boo Buie and Chase Audige who can create their own looks in crunch time. So we’re telling you there’s a chance.
Or slip? What was that about a chance? Northwestern has the worst Big Ten tournament winning percentage (.283) of all.
3. INDIANA (21-10, 12-8)
Next up: TBD, approximately 8 p.m. Friday, BTN.
Title odds: +450.
Snip? Purdue fans’ heads will explode if the Hoosiers make it three-for-three against their in-state rivals on Sunday. Trayce Jackson-Davis’ path to the final looks a bit easier than Edey’s, too.
Or slip? You’ll never guess which iconic basketball school has gone home with a loss from every single Big Ten tournament. Yep, it’s true — IU, that’s who — as crazy as it sounds.
4. MICHIGAN STATE (19-11, 11-8)
Next up: TBD, approximately 1:30 p.m. Friday, BTN.
Title odds: +700.
Snip? Sparty has the most tournament titles — six — and, this season, the best team three-point and free-throw percentages in the league. This squad is dangerous.
Or slip? Tyson Walker, A.J. Hoggard and Joey Hauser all are quality players, but there’s hardly a significant talent gap between MSU and the league’s other NCAA Tournament-bound teams. Any league foe can foul up Tom Izzo’s day.
5. IOWA (19-12, 11-9)
Next up: Wisconsin-Ohio State winner, approximately 1:30 p.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +1000.
Snip? You didn’t think the Hawkeyes would win the title last year, but they did — from the No. 5 seed, no less. Kris Murray comes in on fire.
Or slip? The last two regular-season games — a blowout win at Indiana followed by a bad loss at home to Nebraska — were the Hawkeyes in a nutshell. Believe in them at your own risk.
6. MARYLAND (20-11, 11-9)
Next up: Nebraska-Minnesota winner, approximately 8 p.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +900.
Snip? Charlotte transfer guard Jahmir Young was at his best offensively in wins against Purdue, Northwestern and Indiana. A budding postseason star?
Or slip? The Terps remain a team that can get bogged down at the offensive end for painfully long stretches. Also, they’ve lost four straight away from home.
7. ILLINOIS (20-11, 11-9)
Next up: Penn State, 5:30 p.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +1000.
Snip? Good Illinois beat UCLA and Texas, had a 7-1 stretch in conference play and outscored Purdue by 16 in the second half at Mackey Arena. There’s always a highly capable team in there somewhere.
Or slip? Bad Illinois throws the ball away, dribbles it off its feet, takes terrible shots and can’t get out of its own way. And that’s just during warmups.
8. MICHIGAN (17-14, 11-9)
Next up: Rutgers, 11 a.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +1800.
Snip? Hunter Dickinson is a rock down low and Kobe Bufkin comes in with his offense cranked up to an exciting level, and the on-the-bubble Wolverines have desperation on their side.
Or slip? The Wolverines were the 8 seed last year, too, and bowed out right away — and that squad was stronger than this one.
9. RUTGERS (18-13, 10-10)
Next up: Michigan, 11 a.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +3000.
Snip? The Scarlet Knights are — nothing new here — as stingy as it gets at the defensive end. Any chance a barrage of Cam Spencer threes is in the offing?
Or slip? Life on the bubble is extra-scary when your school has never made it past the quarterfinals.
10. PENN STATE (19-12, 10-10)
Next up: Illinois, 5:30 p.m. Thursday, BTN.
Title odds: +2500.
Snip? The Nittany Lions have Jalen Pickett — the best pure scorer in the conference — and are 3-0 this season against the Illini and Northwestern. Just put ’em through to the semis, right?
Or slip? It’s still just Penn State, people. Did somebody say “spring football”?
11. NEBRASKA (16-15, 9-11)
Next up: Minnesota, approximately 8 p.m. Wednesday, BTN.
Title odds: +10000.
Snip? It’s sick and twisted yet also undeniable: With five wins in their last six games, the Huskers are — no kidding — the hottest team in the league.
Or slip? The spigot has been open at the offensive end lately, but nobody knows better than Huskers fans that it can be shut off at any moment.
12. WISCONSIN (17-13, 9-11)
Next up: Ohio State, 5:30 p.m. Wednesday, BTN.
Title odds: +5000.
Snip? There’s big-time bubble pressure, but the Badgers have an any-given-day shot against any foe. These are the same players who took Kansas to overtime and beat Marquette.
Or slip? But seriously, folks, this team is a barren husk of its early-season self.
13. OHIO STATE (13-18, 5-15)
Next up: Wisconsin, 5:30 p.m. Wednesday, BTN.
Title odds: +7500.
Snip? The Buckeyes — right behind Michigan State with five tournament titles — put it together in their last three games, beating Illinois and Maryland and coming close at MSU.
Or slip? If you’re bad enough to have a 1-14 stretch in this season’s Big Ten, your goose is cooked.
14. MINNESOTA (8-21, 2-17)
Next up: Nebraska, approximately 8 p.m. Wednesday, BTN.
Title odds: +25000.
Snip? How many Big Ten teams can say they beat California Baptist?
Or slip? How ’bout those Twins?
