THE FRENCH DEFLECTION
It’s been an extremely difficult weekend for Liverpool fans, some of whom were actually lucky enough to get in to the Stade de France on Saturday to see their team lose to Real Madrid in the final of Big Cup. Many more were left outside the stadium’s perimeter fence waving tickets for which they’d paid through the nose – noses which, along with their eyes were left streaming from the teargas sent wafting their way by members of the decidedly unfriendly local French constabulary.
Hundreds of match-goers and on-site reporters – among them authoritative voices such as Gary Lineker, Kelly Cates, Carrie Brown, Rob “Trouble” Harris, the lads from The Anfield Wrap and Big Paper’s own floating football brain in a jar, Jonathan Wilson, tweeted their own experiences, and those of the Liverpool fans left feeling let down, unsafe and downright scared. Still, there were plenty more on social media – but crucially nowhere near Paris – who knew better.
Childish tribalism meant they were happy to point their Big Finger O’Blame squarely in the direction of Liverpool fans. Almost to a man, woman and child, with only a few inevitable exceptions, they seemed serenely patient in the face of unspeakable organisational incompetence, and entirely blameless for the fiasco we all saw unfold.
We have been here before, of course, and it seems that little more than blind luck prevented another horrific tragedy unfold. And like before, those on duty have moved quickly to scapegoat innocent supporters. First falsely accusing them of turning up late, they then decided fans had turned up with tens of thousands of counterfeit tickets, without giving any evidence to support either claim.
“I’d like to thank the forces of law and order,” said the French interior minister, Gérard Darmanin, of the local police. “They were very calm and able to avoid drama.” Said rozzers were apparently also spotted threatening journalists who were recording their activities, and responding to cries for assistance from fans stuck outside the stadium by pepper-spraying them in the face.
France’s Minister of Sport, Amélie Oudéa-Castéra, then announced that the problem had been caused by “30,000 to 40,000 fans without tickets or with fake tickets” rocking up to the ground. Without giving evidence to back this claim, and overlooking testimonies from people who were actually there, these assertions seem preposterous even by the standards of her own thick-as-a-submarine-door British counterpart, Nadine Dorries.
Meanwhile back on Merseyside, Liverpool’s players and backroom staff tried to get over their disappointment by taking to the streets on an open-top bus to celebrate the two pots they did win this season. As has become customary any time fans or footballers congregate to celebrate a big success, this time it was the Twitter Fun Gendarmes who were hurling metaphorical tear gas canisters their way. In a pursuit originally intended to be fun, it seems these days you’re damned when you do win trophies and even more damned when you don’t.
Today, a spokesman for the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, spoke up in favour of Liverpool fans, in whose hearts the Conservative Party has long had a special place. “We know many Liverpool fans travelled to Paris in good time to support their team in one of the biggest matches of the season, and we’re hugely disappointed at how they were treated,” he said. “Fans deserve to know what happened, so we’re urging Uefa to work closely with the French authorities on a full investigation, and to publish its findings.”
Welcome news and, while it’s exceptionally rare for Boris to be enthused by the prospect of an inquiry’s findings being published, we can only conclude that for once, on this occasion he is confident the dishonesty surrounding this omnishambles is nothing to do with him.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“For me, the Nations League is not important. Just glorified friendlies after a long and tough season. I’m not looking forward to it. In 12 months, we have three weeks of holiday. The people from the outside do not understand – but they don’t have to because it won’t change anything.” Manchester City’s Kevin De Bruyne tells it like it is. At least you didn’t have to play Big Cup final, eh Kev? Kev?
FIVER LETTERS
“Thank heavens Uefa’s bigwigs decided to move the Big Cup showpiece away from St Petersburg. I shudder to think what might have happened if brutal, undisciplined, armour-clad police had been let loose on innocent, unsuspecting football fans. And how nice to see Uefa’s corporate partners getting safely to their luxury seats after enduring a gruelling gourmet buffet” – Mark McFadden.
“I only found Friday’s missive this morning and chanced upon the link to Jonathan Wilson’s Big Cup preview. All I needed to do was to look at the first paragraph. Well done, Jonathan” – Marisa Cardoni.
“I had imagined Forest fans would be over the moon about promotion. But the crowd of them I saw at St Pancras station this morning were more in sick as a parrot territory. All subdued, anxious and pale – surely some weeks of optimism can be enjoyed before the financial realities hit home?” – Andrew Battarbee.
“The lyrics of Rotterdam (Or Anywhere), released by the Beautiful South in 1996, predicted the locations of three of the six European club cup finalists this season. Coincidence? I think not” – Tim Cole.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mark McFadden.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around the latest Football Weekly. And while we’re at it, Max, Barry and the pod squad are going back on tour. Tickets to live shows in June and July are available here.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Todd Boehly has vowed to build on Chelsea’s “remarkable history of success” after his takeover of the club was officially rubber-stamped.
Andy Goram has revealed that he has been diagnosed with incurable cancer. The former Scotland goalkeeper has vowed to “fight like never before” after doctors told him he has around six months to live.
The EFL chief executive, Trevor Birch, has warned that the recent spate of pitch invasions “cannot continue” next season. He’s also promised “tougher but proportionate sanctions” for future offenders.
Robert Lewandowski has made it clear to Bayern suits that he wants out. “I don’t want to play there any more,” the striker declared. “A transfer is the best solution. I hope they don’t stop me.”
Steve Cooper has waxed lyrical about Nottingham Forest’s surge from the foot of the Championship to win promotion. “It is a magical football club and we have just reminded the world of that,” Cooper bellowed.
Camila Cabello has hit out at Real Madrid and Liverpool fans for having the nerve to sing their own songs during her Big Cup pre-game performance. “My team and I worked tirelessly to bring the right vibes and give a good show,” the singer fumed in swiftly deleted tweets. “Very rude but whatever.”
And Flamin’ Matildas hot-shot Caitlin Foord has signed a new deal with Arsenal. “I’ve absolutely fallen in love and found myself again,” Foord trilled. The Fiver doesn’t know the feeling.
STILL WANT MORE?
Former Arsenal suit Ivan Gazidis gets his chat on with Donald McRae after helping Meeelan end their long wait for a scudetto.
With the Football League campaign officially in the books, Ben Fisher offers up not one, not two, but three teams of the season.
Nick Ames was at Wembley to watch Nottingham Forest secure their Premier League return. This one’s for the football romantics.
Barney Ronay has some interesting thoughts on what makes Real Madrid so ludicrously good at winning the Champions League.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
