Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
First off, allow me to apologize for a headline referencing a terrible movie from nearly two decades ago. I am referring to, of course, the classic 2006 vehicle Failure to Launch starring Matthew McConaughey (playing, boldly, Matthew McConaughey) and Terry Bradshaw (playing, boldly, Terry Bradshaw). It’s just that a review of Sammy Hagar’s rum got a nice traffic rub by dropping a “can’t drive 55” line in there and, well, your boy needs those clicks.
But yes, Bradshaw is the latest celebrity to wade into the crowded pool of famous folks hawking alcohol. His Bradshaw Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. The Hall of Fame quarterback, significantly less than that country singer, surprisingly prolific 2000s film actor and pre/post-game show staple is a man of many talents, and now he’s stepping into the malt game — or at least lending his reputation to it.
That that reputation … phew. Bradshaw’s Super Bowl accolades are all over this dang thing. The bottle only has three printed labels and his NFL titles are mentioned four times. This bottle drops “IX, X, XII, XIV” like a typical episode of Lost threw out “four, eight, 15, 16, 23 and 42.”
This also provides hope. Bradshaw’s a southern man with a history of success. Of course he’s gonna know bourbon. His malt should lie on the upper spectrum of celebrity alcohols.
On that scale, some are pretty great, like Blake Lively’s Betty Booze. Others fall flat, like Hagar’s Beach Bar canned cocktails. Let’s see where Terry fits.
Bradshaw bourbon straight-up: C+
There’s a certain sweetness that lingers off the boozy whiff that greets a freshly poured glass. A sugary corn, grain-heavy smell. It’s got the color and cache of a quality bourbon, and it meets the standard of the label’s design even if its namesake is a deeply unserious man.
There’s a hit of cloves up front, presenting a quick peek at the banana-ish overtones you’d find in a good hefeweizen. Then comes the oak and vanilla, chased by a light burn that reminds you that, yep, this is a whiskey that clocks in at 103.9 proof. It comes in heavy and makes it clear the spirit didn’t spend too long in the barrel before coming out.
That’s kind of a bummer, since there’s potential here. There’s a bouquet of interesting flavor up front which gets washed out by its immaturity. Adding a little ice mutes that burn enough to make it a sipper, but it’s clear this is a middle-of-the-road bourbon. At $40 per bottle, that’s fine.
Bradshaw Bourbon with Coke: B-
If it’s not great on its own, surely it can be of proper use in the world’s least disagreeable cocktail (non-tonic edition). A strong pour allows the oak and fruit you get at first sip to come through before that boozy burn is mitigated by fine brown cola. It’s comparable to a heavier Jim Beam, clocking in with the extra gravity to streamline your boozing.
But unlike some drinks whose lack of heat makes them dangerous, you’re never unaware there’s a 100 proof spirit involved. Terry’s bourbon feels like just too much of the heads and tails made it into the barrel. It’s still fine enough, but the proof battles the taste whether neat, on ice, or in a cocktail.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Bradshaw Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey over a cold can of Hamm’s?
Disappointment aside, it’s still a properly made bourbon. It’s better than a lot of options, and if I’m looking for a sipper I could do a lot worse than Bradshaw. If you’re looking for something strong but still flavorful, this is going to hit a lot of the right notes for you.
But if I’m looking for something to drink while watching football, Hamm’s is getting the call over the four-time Super Bowl champion. Sorry, Terry.
