Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
Before there was Casamigos or Crystal Head or 818, there was Cabo Wabo.
The legend of Sammy Hagar isn’t limited to his vocal range or inability to drive without moving violations. He’s not just a rock mainstay but also a sigil of branding success.
Hagar arguably started the celebrity liquor trend, founding his Cabo Wabo restaurant in 1990 and then, a few years later, bottling and selling its signature house-blend tequila. He sold that off for a significant profit, and now he’s back in the game. Hagar once again is making booze. Sadly, there is no “Hagarmeister” brand extension to be found.
I’ve already covered how delightfully impressed I was by Santo, the tequila he co-branded alongside Guy Fieri. Today we’re talking up his line of canned cocktails and white rum. Will they reach the dizzying highs of his Diners, Drive-ins and Dives collaboration? Or will they be more Chickenfoot than Van Halen?
Island Pop canned cocktail: C-
But this falls way short of the canned punch standard. The agave isn’t enough of a sweetener to scratch that itch. You get a little citrus but, for the most part, this has the strained kinda-there flavor of a White Claw. Lurking underneath is a modest current of rum that doesn’t really add much to the proceedings.
It’s not undrinkable, and eight years ago it’d be an encouraging step forward in the world of canned cocktails. But in 2023 it feels dated and halfway finished. I genuinely cannot imagine Hagar tucking into a can of this, especially when he’s got a pretty solid tequila brand alongside the Mayor of Flavortown.
Pineapple Splash: C
There’s more flavor involved here than in the Island Pop. You can taste some popsicle-adjacent pineapple and a little black pepper that doesn’t really reach to the jalapeno described on the can. It’s halfway to being a proper cocktail. But on its own it’s just sorta there.
Tangerine Dream: C
Annnnd, nope, It can’t. The flavor is shallow but you can at least tell what it is. There’s orange and a little cream and then it just sort of fizzles away. To its credit it is better than the flavors that preceded it but it’s still not superior to a mid-level hard seltzer. Everything here is just kind of surface level. It’s basic and quickly dissipates, leaving you nothing really to think about it.
It exists. A generic, Great Value seltzer with a celebrity endorsement.
Cherry Kola Chill: C-
It smells overwhelmingly like cherry, giving off real cough drop vibes. And it tastes medicinal. The artificial cherry suffocates any cola vibes, leaving a slightly boozy but mostly unpleasant impression.
This all feels wholly unnecessary. These Beach Bar Cocktails aren’t adding anything to the canned cocktail landscape. They don’t feel like something the guy who sings about tequila would drink until a camera were pointed at him.
But canned cocktails weren’t how Hagar broke into the boozing world. Let’s see how his rum stands up.
Sammy's Beach Bar Rum vs. Sammy's new and improved Beach Bar Platinum Rum
In the span between this first draft and publication I got a bottle of the new and upgraded Beach Bar rum sent to me in hopes of replacing the first version. That’s encouraging; the original formula was decent enough, but there was room for improvment.
So, to see if I can tell the difference, I’m gonna blind taste test the two versions and see if I have a preference. And then, even if they seem exactly the same, I’m gonna make a rum and Coke with the new one because college football starts tonight, yo.
Rum No. 1: Shot one smells boozy off the top but tastes smoother. There’s still a decent burn to it, but there’s a little vanilla at the end to chase it away. It’s not something I’d drink on the rocks, but this is Beach Bar rum. It’s meant to be mixed.
Rum No. 2: Shot two is much lighter and much less harsh. The smell off the top and the boozy heat are both dialed down. though they’re still there. I prefer it over shot one, as it brings more flavor and smoothness and much less of the, uh, nail polish remover aspect. It’s possible recency bias is coming into play.
The results? Shot two is the new formula, so good call, Sammy. Let’s try it in a cocktail.
With Cherry Coke: B+
In honor of the Hagarmeister (I’m still annoyed this drink doesn’t exist), I made this a stiff Cuba Libre. True to form, it mixes well; not overly boozy but still potent enough for that hint of vanilla to kick in.
I’m a little sad I don’t have more light rum cocktails on hand — tragically, I don’t have a dang lime in my entire house — but the point is made. This rum was never gonna knock your socks off on its own, but it was never supposed to. It’s here to get mixed with something cold and a little fruity and, bang, it hits that target with ease.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm's?
This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Sammy Hagar’s Beach Bar Cocktails over a cold can of Hamm’s?
Nah, I’m good.
