Before Doctor Who, The Wombles, The Railway Children and even Carry On Jack, the late great Bernard Cribbins saw action as a Para in Palestine during his National Service.
It was "six months of getting shot at; I don’t recommend it", he recalled. Yet despite near misses, the actor, who died last week aged 93, was only injured when he returned to acting.
Here in extracts from his autobiography Bernard Who?: 75 Years of Doing Just About Everything, he tells all about his close shaves with bombs and bullets, a bum deal in the desert and working with the very first Bond girl.
"On November 30, 1947, the Palestine War officially began. Prior to then, the British Army’s 6th Airborne Division had been serving as peacekeepers in Palestine since the Second World War.
"We in 3rd Battalion, The Parachute Regiment, were sent out to take over and were transported to Palestine on the troopship HMT Empire Windrush.
"We arrived at Peninsula Barracks, in Haifa, on about 8 December and I was on one of the first guards there.
"Lucky old me, eh? After finishing a stag - a period of duty - during this first guard, the sergeant came up and said, "Go and get the tea, Cribbins."
"'Yes, Sergeant,' I replied, before picking up a large metal bucket (yes, we transported our tea in a bucket) and walking down towards the nearby Mediterranean where the cookhouse was.
"I could see in front of me a lovely glow in the sky. It must have been about four o'clock in the morning and I assumed it was the sunrise – I smiled and it gave me a lovely warm feeling.
"When I turned the next corner I got the shock of my bloody life as there in front of me was a huge hut on fire.
"This was part of a wooden encampment that encompassed the aforementioned cookhouse, the NAAFI stores and, unless I was very much mistaken, the armoury!
"The first person I recognised was the regimental sergeant major, a man called Paddy Coffy, who was standing there with a nine-millimetre pistol supervising the evacuation of the armoury. I dropped my bucket and got involved.
"We were pulling out boxes of ammunition, hand grenades, mortar bombs, PIAT bombs; you name it, we were shifting it, and as fast as we bloody well could.
"We'd been stacking this ammo about 40 yards away.
"Despite the advancing flames, RSM Coffy was still intent on us going in and carrying on with the evacuation but by this time it was getting beyond dangerous.
"In the end, he saw sense and everybody ran. Two minutes later, BOOM! I'd never seen anything like it.
"After a few seconds, another explosion went off and before too long the entire place had gone up, including the cookhouse and the ammo. It was just carnage.
"We were later told that two small children were killed as a result of the fire.
"A bomb had been blown about 200 yards away from the blaze, but it hadn't exploded. These two children had found this bomb and started playing with it.
"Well, I don't need to tell you what happened.
"How tragic. I later read the official report into the fire at Haifa and it came to the conclusion that it was an accident, something I’m afraid I do not believe.
"A few weeks later, I was at a Bren gun post. We were in a long valley close to Haifa and at one end of this valley there were Arabs, at the other end there were Jews and, in the middle, there were peacekeepers.
"So there I was, standing there behind this gun surrounded by sandbags, when my sergeant came up.
"His nickname was Rocky, on account of his surname being Mountain, and he'd fought at the Battle of Arnhem. Hard as nails, he was.
"He had a fag on the go and, as he sloped into my post, he said, "I've just had word from the top. You're not to return fire unless you're hit, OK?"
"At that very moment a shot was fired from the Jewish end and the bullet landed in the parapet right between us. SMACK!
"Instinctively, we both dropped to the floor, but without batting an eyelid Sergeant Rocky took a drag of his fag, looked at me and said, "Remember Cribbins, not unless you're hit," and then crawled away. You couldn’t make that up, could you?"
Despite surviving the real gunfire, Bernard was ironically later injured during a movie gunfight, while filming She in August 1964.
"I was asked by Hammer Films if I'd like to spend a few weeks in a hot country with none other than Ursula Andress. To top it all off we were going to be joined by Peter Cushing, John Richardson and Christopher Lee.
"Ursula had recently appeared in Dr No alongside Sean Connery and as well as being one of the most beautiful women on the planet she was also one of its most sought-after actresses.
"'Yes, all right then,' I said to my agent. 'If I must.'
"One day, the delightful Mr Cushing and I were filming scenes in the Negev Desert that involved us fighting off some Bedouin people.
"I'm carrying a rifle, Peter a revolver, and these guys are coming at us on camels firing all kinds of everything.
"The special effects guy had been seconded on to another film, and so we’d been left with an Israeli Army boy called Danny.
"He was enthusiastic, bless him, but he wasn't fully conversant with the do's and don'ts of staging a gun battle.
"Subsequently, when it came to putting the bullet splashes into the sand, which are meant to give the effect of gunfire, he got a bit carried away and used detonators that were used in plastic explosives.
"The first time, the scene went fine, as far as Peter and I were concerned, but the director wasn't happy. 'No, let’s do that again,' he said. 'Camels back.'
"This time around, instead of laying the detonators in the same position as last time, Danny put them underneath where I was kneeling.
"You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to work out what happened.
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"Only one of the detonators went off directly underneath me but it was enough to cause serious damage.
"It was underneath my left buttock, to be exact, and, without wanting to sound too crude, it resulted in me having an extra 23 holes in my bum.
"Had I been kneeling a few inches to my left it would have blown my bits and pieces off and I wouldn't have made The Railway Children.
"About five minutes later, Peter and I were having a smoke while I waited for an ambulance. He'd been shaken badly by the accident and he was very upset.
"'Don’t worry, Peter,' I said, trying to reassure him. 'Once they've pulled the shrapnel out I’ll be absolutely-' Before I could finish the sentence we heard another explosion.
"We turned around and Danny had blown off two of his fingers. Without batting an eyelid Danny turned to the second assistant and said, 'I've joined the club!'"
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