‘Prince Charles had to do it only once, but Americans have to go through it every year.’ What? Find ‘a lovely, poised, intelligent girl who is also a virgin – or a reasonable facsimile’. That’s how the Observer kicked off its exploration into who would take home the crown of Miss America on 4 November 1984.
The competition was trying to restore its Lysol-clean image following the previous year’s scandal, when winner Vanessa Williams posed for ‘naked lesbian photos’ in Penthouse and was forced to abdicate. Getting back on track required a return to ‘white bread Republicanism’ (35 out of 49 contestants were Reagan supporters) and ‘militant virginity’. Propriety was Victorian. Contestants were banned from smoking, drinking or gambling and had to be chaperoned at all times, though they didn’t seem likely to object. Miss New York opposed pre-marital sex and Mormon Miss Utah declared: ‘I try to live my Christian values seven days a week.’ Their interests were conspicuously wholesome: cancer research, inspecting historic tombstones and ‘international soap collecting’ (Miss Utah again).
