Fifty years ago, columnist Mike Royko staged a beer taste test among friends to prove just how bad American beer was compared with imported brands, writing in a 1973 Chicago Daily News column that “American beer tastes as if it is brewed through a horse.”
Sunday afternoon, Royko’s admirers restaged the test to see if American beer had improved over the last half-century. The answer at Royko’s Beer Test 50th at the Old Town Ale House was a resounding “Yes.”
Wisconsin-based Old Style won first place from a panel of 12 judges, most with ties to the beer industry, rating 12 lagers. One judge wrote in their comments that Old Style is a “happy cat.”
It was a reversal from the results of Royko’s test 50 years ago, held in his Northwest Side backyard with 11 judges and 22 beers. Royko’s panel had rated most highly a selection of European beers, with Wurzburger winning first place. Royko’s test put some of America’s then top-selling beers in last place: Old Milwaukee, Schlitz and Budweiser.
Some participants in Sunday’s event were surprised that the American beer rated most highly in Royko’s original test — Point Special from Stevens Point, Wisconsin, — fell to last place in Sunday’s competition.
One judge commented about that beer: “I might prefer sobriety.”
Just as they did in 1973, the judges rated each beer on a scale of 1 (“barely drinkable”) to 5 (“great”).
The results and judges’ tasting notes:
1. Old Style (U.S.) (“winner!”)
2. Anchor Steam (U.S.) (“tastes like beer”)
3. Miller High Life (U.S.) (“I’d happily drink more”)
4. Budweiser (U.S.) (“inoffensive”)
5. Schlitz (U.S.) (“sad cat”)
6. Stiegl Goldbrau (Austria) (“no thank you”)
7. Coors Banquet (U.S.) (“fine, fine, fine”)
8. Seipps (U.S.) (“think it’s Schlitz that has gone downhill”)
9. Spaten (Germany) (“hot day beer”)
10. Miller Lite (U.S.) (“tastes like sadness”)
11. Pilsner Urquell (Czech Republic) (“has a mysterious past”)
12. Point Special (U.S.) (“funky, cheesy, stinky, bad”)
The tasting was a “modern interpretation” of Royko’s test, offering a smattering of macro-brewed beers with a couple of craft brews and imports, said Liz Garibay, executive director of the Chicago Brewseum, which organized the event with the Newberry Library and Pocket Guide to Hell.
The test showed how far American brewing has come in a half-century, she said.
“In 1973, you didn’t have any local breweries,” Garibay said. “Now you go to any neighborhood and there’s a brewery.”
The inspiration for the new beer test came from Paul Durica, who stumbled across Royko’s column while researching an exhibit at the Newberry Library. Durica, who now works at the Chicago History Museum, said an exhibit on Royko’s life is expected to open at the Newberry Library around September.
“When I came across the Royko beer taste test, I thought what a great thing to restate. Because on the one hand, you can use it to show how far beer grew,” Durica said. “And on the other hand, you can get people interested in Royko.”
Staying true to Royko’s original test, snacks were offered to clear testers’ palates, including dill pickles, rye bread and sausages.
Royko, the voice of the working class, died in 1997. He is considered by many to be one of Chicago’s best writers, penning columns for the Chicago Daily News, Sun-Times and Tribune. He received a Pulitzer Prize in 1972 for commentary.
“You can’t understand Chicago literature in the second half of the 20th century without reading Mike Royko,” Northwestern University professor Bill Savage told the crowd at the Ale House.
Royko’s columns should be considered literature, Savage said.
They are plotted “like O. Henry stories but with sharper edges” and tackle the same subject matter, said Savage: “Chicago, its people, power relationships. Strong against the weak, weak against the strong.”
Musician Hope Arthur read aloud Royko’s famous column about guitars taking over accordions as the musical instrument of choice in Chicago taverns. She then played two songs for the crowd.
The afternoon event ended with a toast by Bruce Elliott, an owner of the Ale House who recalled meeting Royko at the 1968 Democratic convention and seeing him intervene on behalf of protesters and police officers.
“Nobody understood Chicago as well as Mike Royko, nobody understood politics like Mike Royko,” Elliott said. “But most of all, the guy was an incredible writer.”
Royko’s son, Sam Royko, admitted that his dad’s column trashing American beer may have been a bit of a joke. But he said it was interesting to see how it showed things have changed.
“One of the funny things about my dad, sometimes it matches up,” said Sam Royko, who unsuccessfully ran for 1st Ward alderperson in the last election. “You read it and go, ‘Oh, wow, that could be applied to this current situation we’re in.’ But other times you really see the progress we’ve made.”
I love that Chicago has become a beer city. I mean, we really have some great breweries here,” he said.
