New moms have to deal with a lot. Their bodies change, they feel many emotions at once, and now they also have to deal with a tiny human. It helps to have a supportive partner who cares for their needs and empathizes with their struggles. But not all spouses are like that.
This new mother was already having a difficult time dealing with a breastfeeding baby who was using her 4 new teeth for violence. The poster’s husband found the whole situation extremely hilarious until his annoyed wife made him feel the same pain.
More info: Reddit
Husband calls wife an abusive psycho after she pinches his nipple extremely hard and threatens to rip it off because he kept laughing at her breastfeeding agony
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster has a 9-month-old who has 4 new teeth coming in, which is why the baby would bite her extremely hard while breastfeeding, leaving her in excruciating pain
Image credits: drobotdean (not the actual photo)
For an entire month, the woman’s husband would trivialize her pain and burst out laughing whenever the baby bit her, so the infant would consider it almost like a game
Image credits: stefamerpik (not the actual photo)
One day, when the baby bit her again and refused to let go because the man was laughing out loud, the poster finally had enough
Image credits: Expensive_Year3322
The new mom pinched her husband’s nipples very hard and didn’t let go till he slapped her hand away, he was angry and said he didn’t feel safe around her because she was “abusive”
The Original Poster (OP) had given birth to a baby girl 9 months ago. One struggle she faced as a postpartum mom was breastfeeding. She shared that her daughter had 4 teeth coming in and would bite her so hard that she’d even bleed. Since she had to nurse the child 3-4 times a day, it was an extremely difficult situation to manage.
OP isn’t the only mother who struggles with breastfeeding. Around 60% of new moms give up on nursing earlier than planned because of similar issues. Difficulties with breastfeeding are more common than one would expect. Some of these problems include low milk supply, sore nipples, issues with latching, and even engorgement.
To understand this complex situation better, Bored Panda reached out to Madam Partum’s team of IBCLC lactation experts. They dedicate themselves to supporting mothers with useful tips and information that can be life-changing for a successful breastfeeding journey! Yen, the founder of Madam Partum, has researched Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) to tailor a series of lactation aid products and herbal soups that are uniquely designed for breastfeeding mothers.
We asked Madam Partum’s team what advice they’d give to moms struggling with breastfeeding. They said, “Offering support to parents facing difficulties with nursing is multifaceted and includes practical, emotional, and educational components. Here’s how we would approach it:
- Understanding the family background is key to counseling. It might be a cultural issue or family history that causes stress [to] the nursing mother.
- Identify and diagnose the patient’s challenges. Assess the real issue to do the right trouble-shooting, such as latching issues, engorgement pain, low milk supply, or even pumping pain.
- Offer advice with evidence-based information, hands-on guidance, and even the lactation plan to ensure success in breastfeeding.
- Acknowledge and assure the patients that they are not alone in this breastfeeding journey.”
Although there is a positive link between breastfeeding and maternal mental health, women who experience nursing difficulties often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and failure. Every mom is trying to do the best for her baby, but problems like this can be so distressing and painful that it makes things much more difficult.
Unfortunately for the poster, her husband did not care about her pain at all. Even though she explained to him that the baby would latch harder and bite her in response to his laughter, he seemed to find the situation even funnier. He also made snarky comments about his wife being “mad” at the baby for teething too hard.
Not all spouses step up to the plate after their partner gives birth. Some postpartum moms state that they are expected to manage everything just as they did before as if nothing has changed. Some husbands don’t try to understand their emotions or care for their well-being. Support from the baby’s father is considered an important protective factor, and the absence of it can add to postpartum depression.
This is what was happening to the poster as well. Despite her many warnings to her husband, he kept treating the baby’s painful biting as a joke. His laughter encouraged the baby even more, and she might have thought that the whole thing was a game. Finally, the woman was brought to tears and had enough of her husband’s inconsiderate behavior. She pinched his nipple in return and threatened to rip it off if he ever acted that way again.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Madam Partum shared that “it’s not uncommon for spouses to not fully understand how much is involved in breastfeeding! Sometimes, the pressure may not be from the husband directly but indirectly from their well-meaning friends and family members who don’t fully understand the situation or the plan that the breastfeeding mother had in mind.”
To help partners or dads be more supportive of breastfeeding moms, Madam Partum’s team shared that they can “[participate] in breastfeeding classes so that they can understand the role that they play to make the breastfeeding journey easy! Read, share, and be informed [and] speak to professionals.”
Even therapists have shared experiences of perinatal and postpartum women breaking down in tears at the indifference of their partners. That’s why it’s important for men to show up for their spouses, offer practical support, and be sensitive to their feelings. That’s the only way that the new mom will be able to cope with this extreme life change.
We asked Madam Partum’s team how someone could deal with a spouse who trivializes their nursing struggles. They said, “Dealing with an unsympathetic partner can be challenging, especially when you’re navigating the complexities of breastfeeding and postpartum recovery. It is extremely important to address the issues earlier, and we would suggest the following:
- Support Networks: There are many different types of breastfeeding support groups that you can turn to where you are encouraged to share challenges, experiences, and gain encouragement with a group of new mothers and experienced mothers.
- Mindful Self-Care: Prioritize your own well-being and give yourself well-deserved me-time.
- Encourage Open Communication: Share your open and honest feelings with your partner, and explain how their support will make a significant difference in the breastfeeding journey. If the lack of empathy is causing significant strain, consider seeking help from a counselor or therapist who specializes in relationships.”
OP’s husband was truly blind to her struggle, and when she turned the tables on him, he experienced her pain. Many commenters were shocked by the post and stated that it was horrifying how some partners revealed their true colors only after their child was born. We hope that the man finally understood his mistake and apologized to his wife; that would honestly be the best outcome.
Do you think the woman was justified in taking revenge on her husband? Let us know if you have any other creative suggestions that could top what she did.
Netizens were enraged on the poster’s behalf and could not believe the man’s insensitivity towards her
