Ayesha Hazarika
(Picture: Daniel Hambury)We have much to thank Netflix for, even if it’s holding you back from purchasing your dream mansion. Watching The Tinder Swindler and taking the bins out in the rain was the perfect way to mark Valentine’s Day and expose it for the fake, over-commercialised load of toilet that it is — although if anyone does wish to send me belated gifts, do not feel cowed.
I felt very torn watching the show in between gasps of horror and a lot of very loud Glaswegian swearing. If you haven’t watched it yet, what’s wrong with you? And warning: spoiler alerts ahead, although the clue really is in the title.
If I’m honest, my primary feeling was incredulity and anger at the women who got sucked in so quickly by this clearly bogus man who screamed Eurotrash. “Don’t even f***ing think about it,” I bellowed at the telly when after about five minutes he asks her for her card details. “How could they all be so dumb?”
I raged at these poor, wretched women until I realised that they were poor in every respect. It was heartbreaking to see these women lose so much money and invest so much, emotionally and financially, on the whisper of a promise of love and security. The glimmer of a future which we all know watching will never come to pass but they are so desperate, lonely and vulnerable that they are rich pickings for men like that.
And while it’s easy to victim blame, women are conditioned from as soon as we can toddle to want our Prince Charming — although he looks less appealing right now. From fairy tales to romcoms to supposedly feminist shows like Sex and the City, the message is that true happiness isn’t a fulfilling career or an interesting life, it’s getting saved by your Mr Big. And look what happened to him.
And women are not just instructed to find their man (yes, the narrative is still very hetronormative), he can’t just be any man. He can’t just be a nice teacher who would share the childcare. God no! He has to be some clichéd alpha man who occasionally has a heart of gold when he’s not being really rich and important.
And it’s not just women looking for love who are vulnerable to conmen or getting scammed. We all are. We live in a world where we want instant gratification, where we want to believe anything anyone promises us without stopping to sense check or do any due diligence as long as they are silver-tongued and a bit of a cheeky chappie. Just look at who we elect and Brexit.
So don’t be too harsh on those women. They are products of a system. And let’s face it, we are all living in an era of the great emotional, economic and political ponzi scheme. Just remember this: if it looks too good to be true, it’s a swindle. Oh. And never trust a very short man posing with a very large yacht.
Virginia Giuffre is a true heroine
So, Prince Andrew settled with Virginia Giuffre and will pay out millions of pounds despite claiming that he didn’t know her and admitting to nothing.
There will be lots written about what’s next for the disgraced duke and indeed the future of the royal family if we end up footing the bill. But let’s take a moment to praise the bravery and tenacity of Giuffre. She took on the most powerful forces on the planet and look what she’s achieved. She remained dignified and steadfast through all the attempts to shame and gaslight her and other victims. A true heroine.
As for Andrew’s offer to work with victims, a lengthy period of silence would be advised. Giuffre’s success is not just for those abused by Epstein, it’s a strike against grotesque abuse of power and privilege.
