Author Robert Dessaix has gone cold on Russia.
That's no small thing for one of Australia's foremost public intellectuals, who has spent a lifetime devoted to Russian language and literature.
Born in Sydney in 1944, Dessaix spent years studying in Moscow during the Cold War and for decades read only books in Russian, translating works by Dostoyevsky, Turgenev, Vakhtin, and any number of poets.
"I have gone cold. I've turned away. I feel deeply, deeply embarrassed and naive about my love for things Russian," he told AAP.
As the author reckons with the hurt and horror he feels at the invasion of Ukraine, he was this week recognised with the Australia Council's Award for Lifetime Achievement in Literature.
Yet his contribution to Australia's literary culture is by no means limited to his translations. Dessaix has a dozen books currently in print including his novels Night Letters and Corfu, as well as his most recent collection Abracadabra.
He also presented the ABC radio program Books and Writing from 1985 to 1995, and claims he never skipped a single episode in 10 years.
Now in his late 70s, Dessaix said the Australia Council prize lifted his spirits enormously.
"An award like this says to me, you know, your life has been worthwhile, you have done something that's valuable to your country."
He said he was particularly surprised to win due to his reluctance to campaign or take a stand on popular issues, including gay rights, during an era in which public opinion is becoming ever more strident.
Dessaix has been with his partner, writer Peter Timms, for 40 years.
He believes gay masculinity is still unpopular and in some ways unspoken in Australia, although progress has been made during the years he has been writing.
Dessaix has lived with HIV for decades and has also suffered a heart attack, the subject of his 2014 book What Days Are For.
At his home in Hobart, he spends evenings watching Russian musicians on YouTube, believing them to be less nationalistic than the country's writers.
In his numerous books he reflects on his travels and the nature of human experience, one of few Australian writers drawn to age-old philosophical questions.
"That's my basic thing - What makes a good life? What does it mean to live? Well, that's what I do," he said.
"It's marvellous at this stage in my life - I'm at the end of my life, I'm approaching 80 - to have the Australia Council say you belong ... It's more than heartwarming. It makes everything worthwhile."
