A family outing can be a great way to catch up with one’s kin or celebrate a special occasion. The latter is what made this redditor round up members of their immediate family; but little did they know they were going to be joined by people they weren’t that fond of.
It turns out, the OP’s father had invited his sister and five of her kids to join without letting the host—the OP—know. That put the latter into quite an awkward position in regards to who was going to be covering the bill, but the OP made it clear that it wasn’t going to be them.
Bored Panda got in touch with the redditor, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find their thoughts in the text below.
Not all family members are equally fun to spend time with
Image credits: Beachbumledford / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
This redditor wasn’t on good terms with their aunt, so they weren’t too happy to see her joining a family dinner
Image credits: vadymvdrobot / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artemp3 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
The OP clarified certain things in an update they provided
Image credits: Reasonable_Relief870
The redditor shared that they’re respectful toward their aunt only because they’re family
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
“I felt the most upset by my dad for expecting me to pay for all of my aunt’s kids and then demanding it. It felt a little disrespectful to be put on the spot like that only because I offered to pay for everyone in my immediate family,” the OP told Bored Panda, expanding on what frustrated them the most about the situation.
By inviting the aunt and her family to join, the OP’s father put the latter into quite a predicament, as it was no longer clear who was paying. A certified etiquette expert, Lisa Mirza Grotts suggested that when it comes to similar situations, it’s the host that’s expected to pay. However, the OP never invited the aunt or agreed to pay for her and her family. “If there is no host, then it is assumed that everyone will split the bill unless one person offers to host,” Grotts told the Reader’s Digest.
To make matters worse, the redditor told Bored Panda that they’re not close to their aunt at all. “I only speak to my aunt and her kids in a respectful manner because we’re family and for no other reason. [I’ve] never liked my aunt because she is very needy and always makes her problems into everyone else’s problems.”
The OP told Bored Panda that it’s not only the freeloading aunt they don’t have a great relationship with, but the father as well; that is why they have since moved out of his place and taken their two sisters with them.
“My dad decided to be petty and keep some valuables that he gifted me, but he didn’t make much of a fuss about anything else. I’m currently looking for another job that pays more to support myself and bring a big portion for bills. My savings should cover me for a good three months so I’m not too worried about that,” the redditor shared.
Kids as young as four years old already feel animosity towards freeloading
Image credits: Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
It’s pretty safe to assume that no one likes a freeloader. When such behavior becomes the norm rather than an exception, the person engaging in it is likely to receive some unhappy looks from those around them. But what is more surprising is that such looks might come from someone as young as four years old.
A study carried out by researchers at Yale University found that kids ages four to ten view freeloaders in quite a negative light. Senior author of the study, Yarrow Dunham pointed out that after an experiment involving them taking part in a collaborative activity, the little ones showed a very positive attitude toward those who contributed and a very negative one toward those who didn’t.
“In addition to just expressing dislike for them, they would also be willing to punish them,” Dunham told CBC. “They would want to take rewards away from them and they would even be willing to pay a cost in their own personal endowment of stickers in order to make sure that those people didn’t benefit as much from the eventual outcome.”
The research also found that it’s the younger ones who were angered by freeloading the most, and that kids become more tolerant of freeloaders with age. Be that as it may, such behavior is not something most would welcome at any stage of their lives. That’s likely why quite a few redditors in the comments criticized not only the father who put the OP in such an uncomfortable situation, but the aunt as well.
Fellow netizens shared their views in the comments, the OP replied to some of them with more details
People didn’t consider the OP a jerk in the situation
