There have been plenty of stories about Boris Johnson and the so-called Downing Street 'party-gate' scandal, many of them upsetting and infuriating in equal measure. The latest, involving images of the PM hoisting a drink aloft, surrounded by colleagues and booze, stood out for to me for one particular reason - the date.
The images are reported to have been taken from a leaving party held in Downing Street on November 13, 2020 - at a time that the country was in a strict national lockdown following a major surge in covid cases. Just a few days later I was given the opportunity to observe the brutal reality of life inside the under-pressure Intensive Care Unit at the Royal Liverpool Hospital.
That day remains the most harrowing and intense of my time in journalism. Liverpool had undergone a savage second covid wave through October and the hospital and its exhausted staff remained in the eye of the storm as myself and our photographer Andrew Teebay were granted access to the ward.
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The ICU was a hive of activity as staff moved quickly from bed to bed, trying desperately to keep people alive. I saw seven people trying to turn one man over onto his front in a bid to improve the distribution of air into the lungs. I later found out he died, alone.
One of the images that will always remain etched onto my mind from that experience is that of a board of family pictures hung directly above the bed of a woman gasping for breath - and for life. The contrast between the smiling faces and warm expressions in the pictures and the haunted, desperate and confused look now enveloping the patient's face will always stay with me.
Perhaps the main thing I took away from that humbling and harrowing day in the ICU was the impact this was all having on the staff. I was fortunate to be afforded some time to talk with the doctors and nurses after seeing them in action, tirelessly fighting against the relentless wave of tragedy. They told me they were mentally and physically exhausted, depressed, scarred - and as we know there was plenty more pressure still to come for them.
I can only imagine how they must feel to know that at the very same time, people in Downing Street were holding boozy parties, that the Prime Minister attended. And how much it must grate to see Tory MPs and ministers line up to claim it wasn't a party after all, but an after-work event. I can assure you that those NHS staff I was fortunate enough to meet weren't holding any such 'events' in November 2020. They were heading home to grab a few hours rest before heading back into that unrelenting battle.
And what of the families, unable to be with their most loved ones as the final breaths of life slipped from their bodies? What must they make of these excuses? One ICU nurse in Liverpool told me about a local taxi driver who died with his 10-year-old son watching through the nearby door, hands pressed helplessly against the glass, how must they feel now? As one bereaved family member put it to me: "We had to say goodbye over a video link while they partied."
Whatever the excuses offered by whichever ministers get put up for the excruciating media rounds in the coming days, I doubt it will ever wash with those who gave up so much at that horrendous time. And nor should it.
