It may not come as a shock that the number of Australians filing for divorce has spiked since the start of the pandemic, with relationships crumbling under COVID-related stresses.
But what may be surprising is the rise of a relatively new profession — the divorce coach.
When Liv Trunfio was going through the process of separating from her husband last year, she decided she needed some additional support.
Ms Trunfio had tried marriage counselling and engaged a lawyer to help with the mitigation process but felt like something was still lacking, until she came across a divorce coach on social media.
She had never heard the term before but decided to sign up for a three-month group webinar.
"It was like having a friend that's backing you every step of the way," Ms Trunfio said.
"I needed that extra support to realise that I can do it, and I can do it by myself with clarity and confidence, because that was what I was lacking at the time."
Ms Trunfio said the program involved daily practises and tips to help her move forward, such as meditation and journalling.
She found being part of a group of people going through a similar experience was also comforting.
"Having other people that have gone through it, it just made me feel like I wasn't alone".
Divorce applications reach 10-year peak
Ms Trunfio is part of a growing number of Australians filing for divorce.
Divorce applications over the past two years at the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia reached their highest number in more than a decade.
Sociologists said while lockdowns and other pandemic-related stresses have certainly played a role, there were other factors at play too.
Curtin University Professor of Sociology Farida Fozdar said our social norms had changed.
"People understand that there's a range of reasons why marriages may not work out," she said.
"There has been a change in the way people see themselves and their relationships more generally.
"Often divorces may occur because people aren't feeling fulfilled as individuals within their relationships and therefore, they decide to do as Gwyneth Paltrow [described as] 'conscious uncoupling'."
Paltrow used the term to describe her split with husband Chris Martin in 2014 in reference to how the couple learned to live apart from each other, while still sharing events and moments together as they co-parented their children.
Ms Fozdar said the movie-star-turned-wellness-advocate certainly brought the concept of amicable separations into popular consciousness.
"Cultural icons, like actors and popular musicians and so on, actually have a lot of influence over public attitudes," she said.
At first, Paltrow was mocked for using the expression — but fast-forward to today, and it's a concept many around the world are embracing.
Evolving attitudes open door for divorce coaches
The change in attitude has created business opportunities for people to offer services as specialised "divorce coaches".
Carla Da Costa describes a divorce coach as "someone that helps men or women to either facilitate a separation or support them to divorce, as well as rebuild and recreate their life afterwards".
It's different from a mediator, lawyer, or therapist, and in Australia it's unregulated territory.
Typically divorce coaching is an offshoot of life coaching, which is how Ms Da Costa got into the profession.
After going through her own separation in 2017, she decided to change careers from dental hygienist to life coach, but she quickly realised her clients were coming to her for guidance in one area.
"I was talking more and more about divorce than I ever thought I was going to be and so I changed my business."
The rise of the 'wellness industry'
She said demand for her services has tripled in the last year.
When Ms Da Costa went through her own divorce, she said she couldn't find anyone who was offering this type of help. But a quick search online now turns up dozens of people offering divorce coaching.
Ms Fozdar said the rise of these services could be seen more broadly as part of the flourishing wellness industry.
"I think the divorce coach phenomenon is kind of part of that broader phenomenon that focuses on the individual and self-work," she said.
"When someone would mention a life coach five or ten years ago, people would just laugh at you, but now it's an accepted thing."
From a sociologist's perspective, Ms Fozdar said it could also be viewed in correlation to the rise in individualism and capitalism.
These days in Australia, she said family and community structures don't provide the same sort of support they used to, and instead people outsource and pay for those services.
"Nowadays those sorts of roles have been externalised and moved away from just the interest of interpersonal interaction and they've become commodified."
Whatever the reasons, Ms Da Costa doesn't see demand waning any time soon.
"I see this as the tip of the iceberg. To be honest I don't see it as a failure in marriage, or a failure in love. Actually, I just think it's us evolving as a society."
