A relationship expert has outlined his quick test to determine whether you’re a narcissist.
With more than two million followers on Instagram, many of who were curious as to whether they would be considered narcissists, Jimmy Knowles, who goes by the username @jimmy_on_relationships, took to his platform to share the simple questionnaire that he claimed can automatically tell.
According to Mayo Clinic, narcissism is a personality disorder “in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance.”
“People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism,” the clinic stated. Narcissism can have a negative impact on relationships, work, school, and personal or shared finances.
In Knowles’ March 15 post, the self-proclaimed love researcher said: “If you’re genuinely willing to even explore the possibility of you being a narcissist, I have good news.”
“You’re not a narcissist if you’re willing to ask your partner or parent or friend: ‘Hey, what’s it like being on the other side of me?” Knowles proclaimed.
Asking your loved ones whether they think you respect their boundaries or neglect their feelings and needs is a good sign, it means you care. A narcissist wouldn’t care to ask, according to Knowles, who noted that the test also requires you to ask your significant other: “Do I only think about myself?”
“If you actually care about any of those answers, you’re about as far from a narcissist as possible,” the social media personality argued.
Knowles went on to say he understood that some people recognize when they act mean to their partner or generally act out of their desired character or the person they want to be. That said, Knowles doesn’t believe these actions to be signs of narcissism.
“In my experience, 90 percent of people who are coming to me and asking if they are a narcissist, have partners who neglect and dismiss them,” he noted. “Let me guess, you struggle with advocating for your needs and setting boundaries, right? Possibly because they aren’t a safe place for you to do that.”
He continued: “You’re willing to take accountability, are they? You’re willing to explore ways that you could repair your conflicts together and feel closer as a couple, are they?”
Knowles didn’t go as far as to call the other person in the relationship a narcissist, but he went on to point out the flaws in their interpersonal communication and relationship management abilities. The partner “labeling you as the problem” is usually the one stirring issues without any inclination to resolve them.
In a follow-up video, Knowles addressed a method for handling a relationship with a narcissist.
He remarked: “We all know communication skills aren’t going to work with a narcissist, right?” Apologizing, expressing vulnerability, and being respectful doesn’t work, according to Knowles, who claimed this is because they won’t reciprocate any of it.
“Instead of saying communication doesn’t work with narcissists, what we should be saying is narcissists don’t communicate,” the Instagram influencer said. “We’ve unintentionally fallen into a pattern where we’re in the submissive role. We’re once again placing the burden on us to fix things, to heal them, to save this relationship instead of holding them accountable to doing the work.”
The Independent has contacted Knowles for a comment.
