He sent a text apologising for lying to her. She didn’t reply. And that seems to be the end of Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby ’s friendship of more than 13 years.
They were side by side four days a week, in constant contact out of work, and bought second homes in the same luxury Portuguese complex, regularly holidaying together with their families.
This doesn’t appear to have been a shallow, showbiz relationship just for cameras and viewing figures, it felt real.
But you didn’t need to be a body language expert to pick up the coldness in Holly’s eyes, voice and demeanour when mentioning her former BFF’s name in her much-discussed statement on Monday’s This Morning. It looks as though Holly can’t forgive Phillip, so she’s going to forget him.
Unless there’s more going on that we don’t know, this seems harsh, and also… not in the spirit of friendship?
Surely forgiveness is a thread running through all relationships, because human beings are fallible, so we let each other down, in big and small ways, all the time.
Even those you feel closest to, who understand you the best and make you feel the safest get it wrong now and then. That’s just how it goes.
You have to make allowances, let stuff go, move on. It’s not always easy – especially if your feelings have been hurt – but, you know, welcome to life.
If you operate a one strike and they’re out policy, eventually there will be no one left.
With one or two particularly abhorrent law-breaking exceptions, there’s nothing my closest mates could ever do to break our bond. They might behave in a way I don’t think is right – which I’d tell them, because friendship’s also about being honest, even if that means having to supply some (usually unrequested) harsh truths – but there are no deal-breakers. It’s just not possible.
I feel as committed to some of my friends as I do to my husband – they’re the family you choose, as the cliché goes, and clichés are clichés because they’re true, as the other cliché goes. If you cut someone out of your life, it’s not just going to be them who feels the pain.
There are strong emotions involved on both sides, a wealth of shared experiences, little things that will remind you of each other over and over again, probably for ever – and even more so if you’re still sitting on the same sofa you sat on with them every day, and the only difference is that they’re not there.
Rigid non-forgiveness generally seems like a dangerous policy. Particularly as friendship is a two-way street, and no one, not even Holly Willoughby, is perfect.
