According to the New York Times, Europe is the top destination for holidaying Americans this summer. This has prompted some anxiety – Jennifer from Seattle wrote to ask for advice on “a closed shoe that wouldn’t out me as l’américaine” – but also a drawing of cultural battle lines between the US and Europe. Classic summer fun: it was at this time in 2018 that the New York Times also published its classic claim that “porridge and boiled mutton” were staples of British cuisine, as if we eat like Dr Johnson tackling a fit of gout.
This year it’s Watergate. Not that one; the TikTok one, which kicked off when an American woman working in Albania with “organs turning into beef jerky” asked the entire continent the provocative question: “Why are y’all not more thirsty?” Apparently, Europeans hate water, and Americans have been remarking on it for months, mocking our tragic Sylvanian-sized glasses and filming themselves joyfully glugging when they finally find a (bottled) source. Reactions included many pointing out our supply of free, drinkable tap water and querying the notion of “Europe” as one homogenous, crumbling, dark and dehydrated entity. Some were funnier: “Never in my life have my lips touched water – all I do is drink wine and olive oil,” one TikTok commenter said. We probably get our hydration from porridge and pea-souper fogs. Maybe our skin is water-permeable when we don’t use our Mary Poppins umbrellas?
