Anzac Day retreat Anzac Day hasn’t managed the same kind of heat since the fury of the Yassmin Abdel-Magied/Scott McIntyre peaks of yesteryear, but that will never stop the noble soldiers of Australia’s forever culture wars from having a go. Nationals MP and walking pub meal Barnaby Joyce has initiated an attack on the government for its leave policy, which allows public servants to work on Thursday and take time off in lieu, as a “deliberate attempt to dilute the importance of Anzac day”, which is pretty funny, given Joyce’s attack is diluted version of the exact same thing he said last year. Wait till Joyce hears about the anti-Australian anarchists at Coles, Woolworths, Target, Aldi, Dan Murphy’s, BWS, Big W, Kmart, Bunnings, and Best and Less, not to mention those commies at the AFL, and NRL.
Speaking of Woolies, Senator Pauline Hanson, very much in her “going door to door trying to offend people” phase after failing to make much of a mark in the Indigenous Voice to Parliament debate, made a tenuous slam on the retail giant. Having apparently boycotted Woolworths since it was insufficiently amped about Australia Day, Hanson posted she had “learned Woolworths has also refused to stock the RSL’s special Anzac biscuit tins”. The only problem is the implication — that Woolworths was cancelling Anzac Day and abandoning our brave diggers — was demonstrably untrue.
Panahi panhandling Sometimes it’s hard to avoid the interpretation that a social media team is trying to subtly signal us with the image they choose to accompany a news story. To put it another way, look at the following image of Sky News’ Rita Panahi, subject to a questioning look from a puppet dog, and come to your own conclusion about how seriously we’re expected to take her.
Panahi attacks a middle school in Utah for its apparent failure to stop “furries” from terrorising other students — allegedly “biting” and “licking” them, but it’s only the nice normal kids who retaliate who get suspended, on account of woke. Furries are (please don’t Google it) a subculture of people who dress up and act like animal characters — they’re often a tangential target for anti-LGBTQIA+ campaigners. Yet again, this outrage seems to be baseless, with Nebo School District spokesperson Seth Sorenson forced to clarify that the kerfuffle had resulted from the distortion of a message the school sent out about bullying. According to Sorenson, kids were being called names and having food thrown at them “because they were dressed differently”, including wearing headbands “that may have ears on them”.
“These are pretty young kids,” Sorenson told The Salt Lake Tribune. “You’ll have students that show up with headbands and giant bows; you’ll have students that show up dressed as their favourite basketball player, or baseball player. That’s just what kids this age do.”
The outrage, fomented by right-wing radio hosts and the deeply grubby Libs of TikTok YouTube channel, before being swallowed unquestioningly by Pahani four days after Sorenson’s comments, continues an extremely long-standing desire on the part of right-wing media to fall for hoaxes about children “identifying” as animals. And this isn’t just harmless idiocy — the police had to attend the school to investigate the bomb threats it received in the aftermath of the coverage.
Prime Liberal real estate The “shock” resignation of Western Australian state MP Simon Millman opens a crack of light for the Liberal party in its struggle to return to lower house representation that couldn’t all show up to work on the same tandem bike. Millman was the first Labor MP to hold the seat in its history, taking it in 2017 with a 12.9% swing, which blew out during the McGowan-mania of 2021. With the two-term local member gone and no McGowan factor, the Liberals will be eyeing a return to the seat. Four hopefuls have put their hat in the ring, including real estate agent Erit David.
In 2019 David, from EQ Realty, briefly raised eyebrows in Perth media for her video advertising a $3 million mansion Coolbinia consisting of video footage of herself “living” in the house with her pilates instructor husband Phil, providing a “personal experience of what a day at the home may feel like”. It’s… a little weird.
The tone is set by the shot of the pair “waking up” in the house — why is Phil not wearing a shirt? Indeed, between the frequent topless shots of her husband, David heading to the sauna and the general, slow-mo dreaminess of the piece, the whole thing makes you want to check whether there’s a bowl for car keys. David is up against James Fairbairn, Joe Ferrante and Ben Cornell for preselection and the general consensus is that as yet, there’s no obvious front-runner.
