THE wind howled comfortingly outside the window as I sat down to watch FMQs on Thursday.
It was a crisp, cold, day that contained the promise of the Christmas soon to come. Rather than having my usual cup of tea to accompany the proceedings, I instead poured a hot chocolate into my favourite Christmas mug, and topped it with a generous helping of skooshy cream.
This would have been an idyllic festive scene, were it not for the fact that I couldn’t enjoy it in peace and instead had to endure 45 minutes of angry politicians shouting at one another.
There was no goodwill to all men in the Holyrood chamber this week. The men wanted to make that very clear. If coal wasn’t such a lucrative commodity at the moment they would have probably have chucked lumps of it at each other from across the aisles.
Douglas Ross began by asking about the Scottish Government’s new tax rate for high earners.
He asked the First Minister if it was fair that 1.5m Scots will be paying more than people doing the exact same job elsewhere in the UK.
"Let’s make it absolutely abundantly clear: the majority of those in Scotland will pay less tax compared to those in the rest of the United Kingdom," replied the First Minister.
He went on to say that the Budget announced earlier in the week was about values, and highlighted the different approaches taken by the Scottish and UK governments.
That was the end of the constructive portion of the session.
Douglas Ross paused mid-question to complain that the deputy First Minister was shouting at him. The Presiding Officer told them all to stop shouting. Then Douglas Ross complained further about some unparliamentary smirking that was apparently emanating from the SNP front bench.
Over to Anas Sarwar, who started his question about the NHS by wishing everybody a Merry Christmas and ended it by asked the First Minister: ‘’Why is that everything you touch, breaks?’’
Ouch.
The First Minister hit back at the Scottish Labour leader, saying that he loses the argument when he resorts to personal attacks.
If that was the case then politicians from all parties would lose many more arguments than they win.
The back and forth between the two men turned into an early Christmas roast.
Anas Sarwar read from a long list of things that he says the SNP has broken during its time in government.
In response, the First Minister said the Scottish Labour leader doesn’t think for himself, rather he waits for head office to issue instructions on what to say. He went on to suggest that Anas Sarwar might want to ask Santa for a backbone for Christmas.
Anas Sarwar accused the First Minister of being out of touch.
The First Minister accused Anas Sarwar of being out of touch.
The are clearly both staggeringly out of touch. This is a week for mellow Christmas vibes, not recreating the most boring fight you’ve ever seen outside a chippie.
Anybody who was daft enough to tune into FMQs on Christmas eve-eve-eve-eve would have quickly regretted their decision and opted instead for something a bit more cheerful.
These Grinch-like politicians are clearly in need of a break.
Thank goodness they will now get one – and we’ll get one from them.
