Two-and-a-half years ago, Angelika Wenzel woke suddenly in her Berlin home, terrorised by images of herself as a child.
WARNING: This story contains content that some readers may find upsetting.
"I was just doing little steps, because I couldn't walk correctly, and it was night time," Ms Wenzel said.
"I could see my blood running down my head.
"I didn't know where I was. I just cried all night."
That night marked the beginning of her search for answers about her childhood in Adelaide.
Ms Wenzel, 59, said she believed those images were repressed memories of abuse suffered in the months after her mother's arrest in August 1966.
In the middle of a psychiatric episode, Isle Wenzel took her two children for a walk down Gover Street in North Adelaide.
All three were naked, and Isle Wenzel was picked up by police a short time later.
The police officer tasked with writing the arrest report detailed her mental state, including nightmares referencing Hitler.
"States that she has had dreams since April," the officer wrote.
"Cannot understand why she went out naked.
"Thinks someone must have made her do such a thing, but does not really know who."
The authorities admitted Isle Wenzel to Glenside Hospital and took her children into state care.
"[After the arrest] we were brought to Windana Home (in Glandore), and maybe another home, but I do not know exactly where we were placed," Angelika Wenzel said.
She was three years old.
'Like a puzzle'
Ms Wenzel said she believed she and her brother remained in institutions for at least three months before being reunited with their parents.
"I remember that my father came to the place where my brother and I were together, and we were wrapped in a blanket, and I was screaming and crying," she said.
Ms Wenzel's mother and father never spoke about what happened during that time, and the family of four moved back to Germany when she was ten.
"I came back to Australia [in 2022] because I thought I could find my records here, and find my history," she said.
"I thought it would be easier if I were here and not in Europe.
"I don't even have a baby picture – the first I have is from when I was five, and the time before that, I have nothing, only my birth certificate."
But Ms Wenzel said her quest to find out more about her childhood had been difficult and disappointing.
Her first attempt to secure information from South Australia's Department for Child Protection was fruitless; Ms Wenzel said she was told no documents existed.
A Freedom of Information request to SA Police, lodged with the help of the Care Leavers Australia Network (CLAN), produced a heavily redacted document regarding her mother's arrest.
Ms Wenzel sought intervention from the Ombudsman, and the redaction was altered.
"I've applied to all former and existing children's homes in South Australia, but everyone replied [saying there was] no information," Ms Wenzel said.
"No records of me."
Ms Wenzel believed she may have spent time at the Wanslea Children's Home in Payneham – something she was not able to confirm.
During her visit to Adelaide, she read through piles of old newspapers at the SA State Library and wanted to examine copies of Police Gazettes.
According to the State Library website, Police Gazettes may contain details of criminal activity, missing persons, physical descriptions of individuals, and employment activity within the police force itself.
"I would like to have access … from 1966 to 1967, and just take a look at what happened," she said.
"I don't know if it's important or not, but I have more questions about what happened to my mother and to my family."
Care leavers struggling to access records
Ms Wenzel's difficulties gathering personal information are not unique.
CLAN chief executive and founder Leonie Sheedy said care leavers across Australia were searching for evidence about their personal histories, including time spent in government and church-run institutions, where documentation was sometimes inconsistent or non-existent.
The Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse heard 1,200 witness accounts and more than 8,000 private sessions with survivors, detailing widespread abuse in such settings.
One in five survivors reported being abused in more than one type of institution.
Ms Sheedy said care leavers needed more practical support to research and access documentation about their personal histories, including through processes like Freedom of Information requests.
"[Angelika Wenzel] has faced enormous hurdles to get people to respect that she was trying to piece together her identity and what happened to her in South Australia in the child welfare system," she said.
"She's come here at great personal expense, flown all the way to Australia, and she's done this all on her lonesome.
"[CLAN] pleaded with [the State Government] … to just give her access to two Police Gazettes from 1966 and 1967.
"If she had been born in Victoria, and this scenario was in Victoria, I'd just have to go to the public records in North Melbourne and pull them off the shelf.
"But in South Australia … they throw up that there are privacy restrictions."
CLAN assisted Ms Wenzel to write to Attorney-General Kyam Maher, seeking access to the documents, which exist under embargo for 60 years.
The ABC was told the Attorney-General could not intervene, as the documents fell under SA Police.
A police spokesperson said the Police Gazette was "not intended for public readership as its focus is strictly internal" but said Ms Wenzel could apply for embargoed documents under Freedom of Information laws.
"We're the only group in society that has to go back to a government agency in order to piece together our identity and find out about our history in children's homes and institutions," Ms Sheedy said.
"We are totally reliant on governments caring about our right to know our information.
"[Angelika Wenzel] can't go back and ask any of her family, 'What happened to me in Adelaide?'."
Research resources do exist for care leavers searching for information, such as the 'Find and Connect' historical documents website, but that site does not include personal information or private records.
The federal government's National Redress Scheme for people who experienced institutional child sexual abuse in Australia started in July 2018 and will run for 10 years.
A spokesperson from the South Australian Attorney-General's office said the state government works closely with the Commonwealth and survivor support services "to help ensure information is readily accessible when an application for Redress is considered".
"Survivors do not need to seek the information themselves – if there is material available, it will be sourced after the application has been lodged as part of the assessment process," the spokesperson said.
"The Government would be willing to carefully consider any measures that help make the process as comprehensive and efficient as possible, especially where it minimises any pressure on survivors."
Ms Wenzel is considering whether to make an application for redress.
'I want to find the truth'
Angelika Wenzel said she wanted access to documents, especially those held by the State Government, to be "more simple".
"If the information doesn't come back, it doesn't feel good," she said.
"We should have easy access through the whole process.
"It's really shocking to be treated like this as a former state ward."
Ms Wenzel has returned to Germany, but she said she was determined to continue her fight to understand what happened to her in Adelaide.
"I have felt my whole life extreme pressure in my body," she said.
"Perhaps my anger inside of me would go away one day, and I could be someone … I never had a chance [to be].
"Of course, I get frustrated about it, but I'm not a person who will stop and say, 'That's it'.
"I want to find the truth so I could rest a little bit more … so I could sleep."
