Being a young child never suited me, I wasn’t very good at it. I always wanted a seat at the table and to be heard. Colouring within the lines just isn’t my thing. Scrawling across the page is far more interesting.
Mum and I have always got on, my relationship with dad was tricky. He was difficult and dysfunctional. He’d quickly switch from deep darkness to being a bon vivant. It left me walking on eggshells. I went from being outgoing to insular.
We lived in London and Cyprus, before settling in East Anglia in the 70s. I was 10 when we arrived in Suffolk. It felt conservative, dark and miserable. Racism was everywhere – names were hurled at me in the street; going to school was an act of bravery. I left at 16, and escaped Bury St Edmunds immediately.
Punk saved my life. As a teenager, I ran away from home to see the Clash perform. After school one day, my mate and I hitchhiked across the country. We had the time of our lives and got backstage, until someone asked our age, and everyone scarpered quickly.
Neneh Cherry and I fell in love when we met and we’re still best friends decades later. I moved into my cousin’s Stoke Newington squat as a teen, then the two of us connected. We’d both been the odd ones out before. We had the time of our lives dancing, cooking and partying with hip-hop legends.
Impatience is a bad habit of mine, although I’m working to improve it with lots of therapy. My head moves faster than my body and wants things done immediately. I’m trying to come off as less pushy.
Meeting Shirley Bassey at Wimbledon was a dream. As a child, she’d made me believe a little black girl could do anything, which back then was a rarity. I went over and thanked her, then she politely asked me a question. I was so nervous that I couldn’t talk – all that came out was gobbledegook. She gave me this look, then I apologised and scuttled away, embarrassed.
Never tone down who you are. Proudly be your own person. I don’t go to work and put on a character – what you see is what you get. Although in front of the camera I try to be a little less sweary.
Always remind yourself that this too shall pass – every painful situation is temporary. After my brother died I was broken and felt my heart would stop beating. Volunteering at an HIV and Aids hospice was part of my healing. Seeing such bravery and people finding joy in small things, helped bring me back.
A drunk driver hit me on Finchley Road. I was 26, with a young daughter at home, when a car came flying over the hill and ploughed into me. Thankfully, I flung my body back, leaving only my two legs broken. The driver didn’t even stop to check if they’d killed me.
I had my daughter at 20. In a way, we grew up together. Being a single parent working three jobs, with no money or prospects, was tough. I worked hard to build us a future. I’m so proud of her, and us, for getting through it.
Don’t trust people who eat dry food. What’s wrong with you? There must, always, be gravy.
The Caribbean with Andi and Miquita and the Great British Menu are on BBC iPlayer
