Bard Billot on mayoral flop Beck
The Great Battle
Lo, it was a mighty battle. Long will it be remembered in the songs of the bards of our land: The Battle of the Centre Right, in the mythical land of Tāmaki Makaurau. It was a long campaign, hardy and mean, as bands of mercenaries roamed the Wastelands of Epsom, the Northern Shore, the Viaduct, ambushing, poisoning, boxing ears and giving out grievous Chinese burns. Smoke covers the bloodied field. Lo! Leo of Molloy has fallen, after lopping off both his own feet with his battle sword Hospo Legend. Lo! Lady Viv the Fair has fallen, entangled in thorny brambles, brought down by a great serpent from the Swamp of Campaign Consultants. Lord Craig the Obscure is engaged in a separate skirmish with drunken ruffians who have crashed their chariot into a nearby outhouse. Sir Wayne of the House of Brown scurries over the battle field busily pilfering spare votes from the pockets of the fallen. Yea, and up on the hills to the left from his coign of vantage, High Chief Efeso sits on his deckchair with a pair of binoculars and cup of sweet tea and watches the battle with interest, for sooner or later, he knows he may have to reluctantly get involved. Victor Billot has previously felt moved to compose Odes for such luminaries as Sam Uffindell, Bishop Brian, the Prime Minister, Mike Hosking, and Garrick Tremain.
