World Cup winner Danielle 'Nolli' Waterman has revealed a conversation with Wales rugby legend Shane Williams proved pivotal in helping her stick with her commentary career amid online abuse.
Former England full-back Nolli, 37, earned 82 caps over 15 years, scored 47 international tries along the way, won seven Six Nations titles and featured at four World Cups to lift the trophy in 2014. She also played Sevens at the Olympics, and was nominated for world player of the year before retiring from Test duties in 2018 and then hanging up her boots altogether in 2020, going on to pursue a post-playing career in media and commentary.
But after making her men's Six Nations commentary debut in the postponed rounds during autumn 2020 - alongside ITV's Miles Harrison and Gordon D'Arcy for Ireland v Italy - Nolli became the subject of intense online abuse and hostility. That was despite having previously commentated in the women's game and men’s European rugby, and boasting a level-four rugby coaching certificate, not to mention her stellar elite career. Her stomach churned as she scrolled through the sexist tweets - "get rid of the woman commentator", "she doesn't understand rugby" and "ITV’s decision to have a chatterbox woman as part of the commentary team is stupid. She’s irritating and irrelevant" were among the attacks. She felt crushed, and even considering walking away.
Read more: Shane Williams reveals personal struggles over past seven years in candid interview
"It's been hard going through being trolled a couple of years ago and being told I wasn't good and comments being made about me, and still to an extent comments made about my voice and my place in terms of belonging in a men's game that I'm 'not qualified to talk about'," Nolli tells WalesOnline during a media appearance as part of the Guinness ‘Never Settle’ campaign to promote inclusion and diversity. "But the more time that I've spent time with the men that I work with, the more I've realised they get it as well."
"A conversation with Shane Williams was a real turning point for me. He said how he got trolled and it used to really upset him and at half-time he'd look at his phone and there would be negative comments and it would stay with him in the game. He said 'I had to stop listening to the people that aren't qualified to give their opinion about my opinion. Actually the people that matter are the ones that are employing me because they're asking me back'.
"I look at him and think 'you are one of my favourite rugby players, you're the most amazing man' and he's experiencing it. I couldn't see other people getting the trolling that I was getting because I was one of the only women. When you realise you're not the only one, you can breathe out a little bit. They will be saying different things about me because I'm a woman, because I am new into the game in comparison to someone else, but that doesn't mean I don't belong and I shouldn't be here."
It is only in recent months that Nolli is confident enough to openly say she is a commentator when asked what she does for a living. "I was always a little bit embarrassed by saying that's what I did. Maybe it was a bit of a security blanket for me, thinking that when the next player retired they would get the opportunities [instead of me], it was treated like a player appearance and being invited in for that time rather than 'this is my contract'.
"But I was really lucky to work with some really amazing guys that didn't treat me any differently to a male pundit, they supported me, tried to get me to relax. The more I did it, the more I realised it was something I could be okay at and it could be a job I could do."
Working on the British and Irish Lions' pre-tour warm-up against Japan last summer was a highlight, and a turning point. "I've worked with Channel 4 for three seasons, for the full Champions Cup. When other games have been picked up by Channel 4, like internationals, they've instantly put me into the line-up and said 'you're one of our commentators' and that included the Lions v Japan.
"Being the first female to commentate on TV for that was amazing. I remember speaking to the producer saying 'I really didn't think you'd ask me to do it,' and he said 'why?' Well, 'because of the level of the game, because I'm a woman...' He said 'but you're one of our team, you're not a female commentator, you're a commentator in our team'. It was interesting that I had that perception and they gave me a different one back."
Wanting to showcase some of the idiotic comments aimed her way but hesitant to give them a platform, Nolli steps away from social media and is adamant the negative side will not dictate the narrative.
That's made all the easier when you have the delights of Rome to escape to, with Nolli now living in the Italian city with her boyfriend and luxury hotel manager Simone Moretti. The hotel they're in is attached to an art gallery which houses a Picasso original.
"It’s a good chance to actually withdraw myself. The workloads at the weekend is pretty intense, commentating, working in the media, and doing things that are a lot of time under the spotlight. So to be able to bring myself away and go and explore the city with my dog and just have some down time, it’s allowing me to start to recalibrate and readjust."
Grand-daughter to grandparents from the Rhondda, Nolli has a soft spot for Wales - her middle name is Sian - having attended UWIC, now Cardiff Metropolitan University. She also ran a bar on the Welsh capital's Mill Lane as a mental distraction from elite rugby, and credits schools in the likes of Cardiff, Merthyr Tydfil and Ystrad Mynach - for giving her a new perspective on the power of rugby.
"I worked in some wonderful schools. One was in the Gurnos, it was an interesting experience but I loved it. They were like ‘who’s this mad woman? She’s tiny and she’s really chopsy’. I worked in a special school at Trinity Fields School for four months as a supply teacher. I loved it. The PE teacher invited me into PE lessons and the way that he worked with the young people really helped build my understanding of how sport can really benefit people. It doesn’t have to be at the elite end, it’s about just enjoyment and finding out what your body can and can’t do."
Nowadays, Nolli is eager to help change the sport in a different role through her broadcast work, after frustrations during her playing career. "The rugby, technical, tactical analysis often took second to whatever was happening in the women’s game - contracts, there not being enough fans, a clash in dates, or whether there’s a couple in the team. England are the best in the world yet you don’t want to talk about how good we were on the field, or where we went wrong?"
"Where records were broken, an England player became the first back to become a centurion, and actually he wasn’t, he was the first male player. In my role, I was able to say to ITV and the commentary team ‘look he’s the first man’. They were mortified they hadn’t got it right but adding ‘men’s' to it instantly gives the females credit, and that is starting to change. That’s how you celebrate women’s success and acknowledge the female side of the game. Andy Murray was probably the first person to do that. If you can challenge someone in a positive way or point something out without being aggressive about it, it draws people in with you and gets people to just acknowledge what they’re doing."
Speech matters and sometimes it's the small details which can lead to big differences. "Often when team sheets get announced they say 'men’s' which I think is one of the biggest steps forward because inadvertently you’re promoting women’s sport if you say ‘men’s’."
As for this year's postponed Rugby World Cup in New Zealand - which is not carrying the 'women's' prefix - Nolli believes World Rugby have made a mistake in changing their laws to mark World Cups as gender neutral. "The big thing for me [from Guinness' media research] - and it's nothing new - was the fact women's rugby is referred to as 'women's rugby', and men's rugby is referred to as 'rugby'. And I think it's something that unfortunately World Rugby got slightly wrong, in my opinion, in terms of taking the gender away from the Rugby World Cups. I personally think by adding gender, you're instantly promoting the other side of the sport."
- Nolli Waterman was speaking on behalf of Guinness, discussing its latest research into both the Men’s Guinn ess Six Nations 2022 and the TikTok Women’s Six Nations 2022. The research aims to understand how language was used to report and comment on both championships across media articles and Twitter. Guinness is working with its partners to make sure rugby is inclusive and welcoming for everyone. To find out more visit www.guinness.com/neversettle #neversettle
