A man who found his 27-year-old brother dead at home has shared his mission to ensure his brother leaves a positive legacy by helping people better understand mental health and encouraging men in particular to seek help. James Dean, from Bettws in Newport, died on January 17 at his brother’s home at Ellesmere Port near Liverpool where he was staying.
James’ brother Michael Dean said his brother is believed to have taken his own life after years of struggling with depression and post-traumatic stress disorder but wants him to be remembered for the community-minded “amazing guy” that he was. “James was a little Del Boy – he’d offer to help anyone and he’d turn his hand to anything. He was a throwback a bit like that – someone everyone knew in his community and who just wanted to do his best and be thought of fondly,” Michael, one of James’ four siblings, recalled of his younger brother and “terrific uncle” to his five-year-old daughter.
“He worked in various nightclubs and bars in Newport, including Atlantica Bar and Bettws Social Club, where he became a popular local guy. He also worked repairing windows and doors for a bit – he was just one of those, did a bit of everything and tried to turn his hand to anything.
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“I laugh remembering the amount of stuff he’d try and fix and he ended up breaking but he was never one to shy away from something and he’d always put himself forward. He was always very proud to be a Newport boy and when he was here with me it was his thing to make everyone well aware that he was a Welshman.
“I’m not sure what really happened to James. There will be a lot of unanswered questions for us all as a family. He moved up here with me and I thought things were improving for him. He was open of sorts about his struggles but looking back I’m not sure he was being fully transparent.
“I think he was afraid he might be seen as weak if he was fully transparent about how he felt. He wanted to protect people – even me as his older brother, he’d tell me he would always protect me.
“I want to share James’ story because I want to share how well thought of James was and to tell people that whatever you’re feeling it’s never too late. James thought it was too late to turn back. I want to tell people: ‘Please, if you’re ever feeling how James was feeling before he died, text a friend, text a relative, or use a service like Samaritans. It’s never too late.' We want to be a beacon for that message now.’
“What it does to families when this happens is unimaginable. He was the glue in our family – the one who bound us together. I suppose over time it might get easier but it will never get better for us. We don’t want to see more families go through this.”
Since “party man” James died there has been an outpouring of love and support for him and his family on social media. Many gathered at Bettws Social Club on Wednesday, January 25, to remember James and tell stories of him. Some have set up a fundraiser in his memory to contribute to costs for a funeral. Michael said he was “overwhelmed” by the support but insisted his motive for sharing the story of James’ life wasn’t fundraising for his send-off. “We do want to thank people for the amount of support we’ve received. It has been amazing to see how many people thought fondly of James and hear so many lovely stories about him,” Michael continued. “Kindness at this time makes a massive difference. We’ve even had people come forward offering to create a charity in his name. We will do something in future – we do want to honour him and make sure his memory is cemented.”
James' mum Helen Morgan shared her pride in her son. "I was so very proud of him," she said. "I was proud of the man he became and will always carry him in my heart because our love is eternal."
Ashley, James' younger brother, said: "James was such a wonderful big brother. Growing up we were the typical big brother and little brother pair that hated each other one second and would tolerate each other the next. Growing up he was such a staple in our family. He would make us all laugh with the stories he'd tell us about himself and the things he used to do. The life he shared with us was an amazing journey and I know me and my family won't be whole until we all meet again. The love that has come with his passing is something I know we are all grateful for. I know he would love being the local celebrity and is probably laughing at us and with us. I'll miss his calls and his messages. As a family we will make sure his memory will live on."
James' sister Katrina added: "He was always really protective over me as I was the the youngest sibling and the only girl of the family. He’d always inspect my boyfriends to see if they were worthy to date me. He would take me out trick or treating or Christmas carolling. He always used to make me laugh and take me out if I went through a break-up or was having a bad time. He was obsessed with Japanese food and thanks to him I’ve followed in his steps of loving it too. James was always a supportive brother, especially when I came out to him, and I will forever and always be his little sister. I hope I make him proud."
Asked how he would like his brother to be remembered Michael replied: “A charitable person, a lover of his community, someone who wanted to be in the spotlight wherever he was. He reminded us of Jay in The Inbetweeners – if you said you’d flown to the moon he’d flown to Mars. He was a class clown, always wanting to make people smile at his expense.
“Just an amazing guy – a terrific brother, uncle, son, and best friend to so many. A pretty simple person in many ways. After he’d finished his shift he’d get home and want to sit on the sofa with his family and watch whatever rubbish telly he’d got on. I’d sometimes just want to go to bed after a bad day but he’d tell me to come and sit with him. He’d often say: ‘You don’t know when your last night is going to be so don’t go to bed regretting it and come and sit with me.’
“I want to share how he lived but I also think it’s important to share how he died. I want to raise awareness of the struggles he had so even if a couple of people read about James and feel more confident to speak out, or more ready to speak out, then what happened to James has left something good.”
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
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