The more spectacular a reality show sounds when it’s announced, the more deflating it is when the finale doesn’t seem like a big event. Alone took 11 Britons and dotted them around the forests of north-west Canada, where they had to use basic survival equipment to stay there for as long as possible, in isolation, filming the experience themselves. They could “tap out” and call to be picked up at any time. After six episodes, 10 of them had done that. The other had won £100,000.
On paper, it was one of UK TV’s most extreme adventure shows ever, so why does it feel as if nothing much has happened?
Alone has run for 10 seasons in the US, so the format is viable. But the British version has revealed its flaws, the main one being that what makes the challenge tough is what makes it less watchable: everyone is on their own. Strangers collaborating or competing in an extraordinary situation is what makes good reality contests tick, but the survivors in Alone talk only to their video cameras – and a silent gadget isn’t as good as another human at drawing out the character beneath the game face. The fact that solitude has proved to be as challenging as hunger is interesting anthropologically, but in terms of entertainment it has left us watching a contest to see which bored, lonely person can stand being bored and lonely the longest.
Alone has tried to overcome this by selecting contestants who have previously experienced trauma or mental health challenges, about which they can monologue inspiringly over a sputtering campfire. As such, we have heard stories of anxiety, autism, depression, physical injury, addiction, poverty, grief and raising a child with learning disabilities.
The moment when a contestant opens up about their hidden battles has become a staple of reality TV and can be powerful. But Alone drank the well dry. When one of the four finalists – sunny and capable Tom, who runs an expedition company – tried to argue that his survival ordeal may finally rid him of his “impostor syndrome”, it was hard to avoid thinking that not everyone on telly needs a diagnosis.
Tom, a well-spoken smoothie, has led a charmed life in Canada, his biggest problem being that the luxury wooden shelter he built with his bare hands – four solid walls, a sloping roof with eaves, a closeable front door – was so cosy that mice tried to live in it with him. In the finale, we got confirmation that his solution to this problem – roast mouse for dinner – had not given him food poisoning and his wrist injury had not stopped him fishing. Tom was all set.
Elsewhere, however, fish had become an issue. Dropping the players near the Mackenzie River meant that fishing was by far the easiest way to obtain food, so everyone did it – all the time. There are squirrels, grouse and ducks in that part of the world, but hunting them is a faff, so there have been endless scenes of triumphant river catches and fishy teas. If viewers have tired of it, so have the innards of the woodland manager Alan, another member of the final four. With his stomach refusing to digest any more pike, he tried hunting squirrels. When that failed, he left the competition.
This has been another problem with Alone. Survival is so precarious that a small setback means game over, so the contestants don’t have a satisfying narrative arc. They are fine until suddenly they are not fine – and then they are gone.
Naomi, a fashion designer who had proved herself to be much more rugged and practical than appearances might have suggested, bailed in third place because she was missing her son too much. This was more than boredom or homesickness: for Naomi, any sign of a relapse into postnatal depression was a dealbreaker. At that point, the show’s focus on mental health felt uncomfortable: run the risk of triggering an illness for long enough and win cash!
With Elise, a PR executive, coming second after a combination of mental collapse and starvation – “I feel so weird … my skin is crawling” – Tom’s victory was assured. He received the news via his satellite phone while relaxing outside his five-star, rodent-free lodge.
There was time for a where-are-they-now roundup, which revealed that Eva, who made it to the penultimate episode, had resigned as an NHS project manager to teach bushcraft. Tom and his family had moved to Portugal. Everyone else, though, had resumed their old lives, feeling a bit better about them and a bit more grateful for civilisation. The Canadian wilderness seems a long way to go for that.
• Alone was on Channel 4 and is available on demand
