AND THEN THERE WERE … SIX
Look, is it coming home or what? The Lionesses have been giving mixed signals throughout the World Cup, and Football Daily can’t decide whether to be adorned by a St George’s flag onesie for Friday night’s sojourn to ‘Spoons. After sluggish 1-0 wins over Haiti and Denmark, England switched to a back three and routed China 6-1, with Lauren James producing a virtuoso performance that was celebrated up and down the land. But then the 3-4-1-2 system was exposed by Nigeria, a frustrated James was sent off for using Michelle Alozie’s back as a hopscotch grid, and England were on the brink of going home. Then, one last twist: England defended defiantly to take the match to a penalty competition, in which – who knew! – Chloe Kelly banged the winner.
It means they go into Saturday’s quarter-final against Colombia with nobody having a clue: whether they’ll win, whether they’ll play well or even which system they’ll play. The only thing we do know is that James has been banned for two games, which will give her plenty of time to absorb pious lessons in emotional regulation from people twice her age who can barely control their own bodily functions, never mind their temper in a World Cup knockout game at the age of 21, after a week of being told they’re going to win the Ballon d’Or for the next decade, save the world and maybe even find a cure for social media abominations. “We have a squad of 23, we are again facing a game without a player,” roared England coach Sarina Wiegman. “We know how we want to fill that position. It is a team effort and we support each other and we’ll have to fill the positions that become free.” Options include Ella Toone in a 3-4-1-2, Katie Zelem in a 3-5-2, or Toone and Kelly in a 4-2-3-1. The latter would match Colombia, which makes chalkboard sense, but would probably mean leaving out Jess Carter, who defended heroically against Nigeria.
By the time England and Colombia kick off at 11.30am BST, they will know who awaits in the last four. The hosts Australia play France at 8am, but their flamin’ Chelsea superstar is hoping to return to the team rather than drop out of it. Sam Kerr has played only 10 minutes in the tournament because of a dodgy calf, but could start against France having trained with vigour today/yesterday/don’t get us started on time zones, it’s Tin O’Clock somewhere and that’s all that matters. “If Sam is fit to play 90 minutes, she is starting,” teased Australia coach Tony Gustavsson. “That’s not even a question, and the team knows it. We’re talking about Sam Kerr. Whether she is ready to play 90 minutes plus extra time, that’s to be decided tonight.” Or was that last night, we’re not sure. Cheers!
The other semi-final has already been decided. Spain beat the Netherlands 2-1 thanks to an extra-time winner from Salma Paralluelo, and Sweden saw off Japan by the same score despite a spectacular, late onslaught in which Japan struck the woodwork approximately 48 times. The elimination of Nadeshiko means we will have a new winner of the World Cup: Spain, Sweden, Australia, France, England or Colombia. Whoever wins it will join a roll of honour that reads USA USA USA (4), Germany 2, Japan and Norway (1 each). So, it is bloody well coming home or what?
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Fair to say I don’t have a blow-by-blow account, but my understanding is it has progressed to the point where it looks like it will happen. From that perspective at least it gives us some clarity and we move forward without Harry” – Tottenham boss Ange Postecoglou admits Harry Kane is effectively readying for giant pretzels and a trip to the Eisbachwelle as he ties up a move to Bayern.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Re: Gareth McCann’s letter regarding reflex reactions to a particular player’s name when mentioned in commentary (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). Older readers may recall that, during the 1990s, the plot-lines of TV adverts were ‘a thing’. Renault developed Gallic father and daughter characters, whose relationship seemed limited to addressing each other solely by their title or name, inflected with a range of different innuendos. Here’s an example. Little wonder then that whenever Barry Davies, commentating on a goal by France’s leading striker of the time, would exclaim ‘Papin!’ the entirety of my household would yell at the telly in unison: ‘Nicole!’” – Andy Korman.
Every time Steve Bruce’s name is mentioned on television or radio, I always sing ‘88 to 91 FM … Steve Bruce’ as a tribute to the old Ken Bruce jingle on Radio 2. I don’t think this is annoying to anyone near me, although judging by my wife’s reaction one fateful Sunday when she asked me if I was going to do that every single time I heard his name …” – Steve Pye.
I find it impossible not to shout ‘… and Galloway’ every time I hear the name of Inter and Netherlands defender Denzel Dumfries” – Chris Swift.
I cannot help singing the ‘Mmm, Danone’ jingle in my head whenever I hear Mo Salah’s name” – Marisa Cardoni.
I have two to share. I cannot hear a commentator say ‘Divock Origi’ without following it up with ‘she’s my baby’. And every time Wilfred Ndidi’s name is mentioned I must, must follow it with ‘yes indeedy do’. The long winter evenings fly by in our house, I can tell you” – John Connolly.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Andy Korman.
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