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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Jonathan Wilson

Alf’s revenge: disruptor Erling Haaland can be the striker Pep Guardiola craves

Erling Haaland is  capable of battering opponents out of the way, but his game is about far more than that.
Erling Haaland is capable of battering opponents out of the way, but his game is about far more than that. Photograph: Ina Fassbender/AFP/Getty Images

Once upon a time, many years ago, there were two warriors named Alf and Roy who fought for rival clans. Alf accused Roy of feigning injury after he had collapsed with ruptured knee ligaments and for the next four years, whenever they met on the battlefield, their fighting was fierce. But then Alf joined the local rivals of Roy’s team. In the derby, Roy hit Alf on the knee, hard, and Alf conceived a terrible revenge.

Alf had a young son, less than a year old, and he raised him to be a great warrior. His son had extraordinary physical gifts. He was tall and powerful and fast. He was highly skilled. Kings and queens from all around the world wanted Alf’s son to join their army. But Alf’s son was only going to end up at one place: at the rivals to Roy’s team.

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