When Pauline Holmes watched bride Abi Richardson walking down the aisle, her heart swelled with pride.
While Abi isn’t Pauline’s biological child, she means as much to her as a real daughter.
For the wedding was only made possible after Pauline’s son gave Abi the gift of a lifesaving liver transplant when she was a girl.
The transplant was the start of a powerful friendship between the two women that has spanned 13 years.
Pauline, 67, of Southampton, said: “Watching Abi get married was one of the happiest moments of my life.
“We had the most wonderful day, and we felt very honoured to be there as guests, sharing Abi’s day with her.
“I can’t have my son back but he has given a priceless gift.
“Abi has gone from a terribly ill girl to a young woman who is celebrating her second chance – and now she’s embarking on married life.”
Pauline’s world turned upside down in October 2008 when her son Russell was left on life support at Southampton General Hospital after a brain haemorrhage.
Pauline said: “It was devastating. When we arrived at the hospital the doctors told us he’d suffered this massive brain haemorrhage and there was nothing that could be done.
“I couldn’t take it in. I thought he must be talking about someone else. Russell was only 26, he was fit and healthy, and he had his whole life ahead of him.
“Now he was lying in a hospital bed with only a machine keeping him alive. We just couldn’t take it in. It was the most tremendous shock.”
The doctors asked Pauline and ex-husband Trevor if they would agree to Russell’s organs being donated for transplant.
Pauline said: “It was a lot to take in. Then I thought of a friend’s daughter who needed a heart and lung transplant.
"Russell didn’t have a donor card but we knew that he would want to help others. We couldn’t waste his life, so we agreed.
“His liver and kidneys were used for donation. Part of his liver went to Abi, another part of it went to another man, one of his kidneys went to a man and another kidney went to a woman.”
Pauline did not know any of the recipients but sent them each a good luck card through the hospital – and Abi replied three months later.
The 13-year-old was born with chronic liver disease and had been waiting for a transplant for two years.
Now aged 26, Abi said: “Russell’s gift was like a breath of fresh air.
“Before the transplant I had oxygen tanks at home, got out of breath walking and felt embarrassed to use oxygen when I was out and about.
“Six months after the transplant I started cheerleading. He’s truly given me a second chance at life.
“As soon as I received Pauline’s letter I knew I wanted to reply and meet her one day. In her letters I looked for clues about who she was and where she lived.”
Abi’s mum Sarah also wrote to Pauline and, after weeks of exchanging letters, they met up at a hotel in Lyme Regis in December 2009.
Pauline said: “My heart filled with joy. Of course I wanted to still have my son with me but it felt wonderful knowing that this young girl had a chance at a future because of Russell.
“I didn’t know how I was going to react when I met Abi for the first time, but when I saw her I was so glad that we had agreed to meet.
“She was beautiful and had blue eyes, just like Russell. I had been worried that I’d find it unsettling, but instead I found it comforting.
“Abi put her arms around me and thanked me for everything we had done and we all started to cry. It was so emotional. Even though we were strangers, there was this bond between us.”
Since then their relationship has gone from strength to strength.
They regularly speak on the phone and text each other. In May 2013 Abi, then 17, was asked to be a bridesmaid by Pauline’s daughter Claire.
Pauline said: “I’ve come to love Abi as a daughter, so it felt so right having her as Claire’s bridesmaid on her wedding day. She stayed at our house the night before the wedding, and it all felt so right. It was wonderful to see her standing next to Claire, in her beautiful turquoise dress.
“It just felt so right that she was there in that role. Claire sees her like a sister, just as much as I see her as a daughter.
“Abi’s parents also asked Claire and I to be godmothers to their youngest daughter Lily Mai, who is now 10, which was a huge honour.
“As Abi grew up, she showed me photos of her boyfriends and told me all her news from school and then as she got various jobs.”
When Abi, an underwriter from Plymouth, Devon, became pregnant with her daughter Freya in 2019 she texted Pauline with the happy news.
She gave birth in February 2020, but Covid meant they didn’t see each other for a year – the longest they’d gone.
Pauline said: “Abi still sent me photos all the time so that I didn’t miss out on her first few months.”
And Pauline’s family were top of the guest list when Abi got married to Zach, 25, a mechanic.
Pauline said: “Abi was the most beautiful bride and it was one of the most special moments of my life seeing her walk down the aisle.
“Losing Russell was the hardest thing in the world and I will never get over it. Knowing that my son has given other people a second chance at life makes it that little bit easier.
“Abi and I have a very special relationship and I love her very dearly. Our friendship is nearing its 14th year and it has been 14 very special years. I hope it will carry on for many years to come.
“Losing my son was incredibly painful but my friendship with Abi and her family do go some way to helping ease that pain.”
Abi said: “Whilst I wish we had met under different circumstances, I’ll always be grateful to my lovely, extended family”.
