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THE STAR OF THE SHOW: A lot of middle-aged straight Tory men went wobbly at the knees at the weekend watching Penny Mordaunt hold a sword erect for nearly an hour, but what was the name of the sword she carried out of the coronation ceremony?
The sword of temporal justice
The sword of mercy
The jewelled sword of offering
Excalibur
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CORONATION SHENANIGNANS: Talking of an event where you give someone a big hat on the basis of who their mother was, how many countries in Europe still have a hereditary monarchy?
Eight
Ten
Thirteen
Fifteen
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IT'S A DOG'S LIFE: This is Willow, the official monarch of the Guardian Thursday quiz. She sometimes goes to watch Walthamstow FC or London Seaward at Wadham Lodge, and knows not to interrupt the match. But what interrupted the football match this week between Jalkaranta Palloseura and KJP in Finland's Suomen Cup?
A herring gull attacked KJP's goalkeeper so violently he needed medical attention
A parachutist from a local air display crashed on to the top of the main stand
A small child rode across the pitch on a bicycle
30-50 feral hogs
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WOMEN'S WORLD CUP 2023: A non-football question about every nation at this summer's Fifa Women's World Cup tournament. South Africa will be making a second appearance, but which year was Nelson Mandela released from prison?
1988
1990
1992
1994
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WOMEN'S WORLD CUP 2023: Jamaica will also make a second appearance. The country suffered centuries of colonial rule under the Spanish, then the English, then the British, but when did it finally gain independence?
1956
1959
1962
1965
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WOMEN'S WORLD CUP 2023: What is the currency of New Zealand, one of the co-hosts of the tournament, and where Charles III is still head of state?
New Zealand dollar
New Zealand guilder
New Zealand pound
New Zealand grotzit
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THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE: Element 3 is Lithium. Who released a single called Lithium in 1992?
Nirvana
Sparks
Pearl Jam
Soundgarden
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MOVE FAST AND BREAK THINGS: Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg (not pictured, probably) won medals when he made his debut in Redwood City, California at which martial art?
Jiu-jitsu
Karate
Taekwondo
Venusian aikido
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IN THIS HOUSE: Police turned up at the home of a 92-year-old women after neighbours complained how noisy her frogs were. Where?
Ceredigion, Wales
Savoie, France
Groningen, The Netherlands
Florida, US
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THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS BULLIES, WITH DOMINIC RAAB: This week the former deputy PM would like to know the full name of the lead bully at Bart's school in the Simpsons
Nelson Buntz
Nelson Muntz
Nelson Luntz
Gavin Williamson
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WHAT A MISTAKE-A TO MAKE-A!: Italy's prime minister recently visited Rishi Sunak in London. What is her name?
Giorgia Meloni
Federica Mogherini
Ilona Staller
Marta Fascina
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ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD: Leyton Orient are still the champions of League Two in the English Football League, and the quiz master is still literally in this photo. Orient play at Brisbane Road. Brisbane is the capital of which Australian state, part of a country where Charles III is still head of state?
Victoria
Western Australia
New South Wales
Queensland
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EUROVISION ROCKS: It is Eurovision this weekend, and the quiz master will be live blogging it as usual. The original line-up of Frankie Goes To Hollywood reunited for the occasion, but they only played one song. Which one?
Welcome To The Pleasuredome
Relax
Two Tribes
This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us
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ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME: Always considered a record industry money-making joke by the quiz master, the self-appointed Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is inducting seven artists this year. Which of these is NOT a 2023 inductee?
Duran Duran
George Michael
Kate Bush
Rage Against the Machine
Solutions
1:C - Mordaunt was involved in the sword-wrangling as part of her role as lord president of the council. She was put in that position by Liz Truss, who presumably hoped it would keep her busy and out of the limelight. Gen Lord Houghton of Richmond had the sword of temporal justice. Air Chief Marshal the Lord Peach had the sword of mercy. Excalibur is somewhere at the bottom of Lake Vortigern, 2:B - Belgium, Denmark, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Monaco, the Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Sweden and UK have yet to transition to republics, and still believe that one person should always be in the position of head of state thanks to who gave birth to them, rather than say, whether they would be the best candidate for the job. You can make an argument that Andorra and Vatican City State are also monarchies, but those involve elections, 3:C - The child was a relative of Jalkaranta Palloseura player Drilon Shala. The referee quickly stopped the pitch invader and instructed them to move to the side, 4:B - Mandela left prison on 11 February 1990, after 27 years imprisoned by the racist apartheid regime in South Africa, 5:C - The island achieved independence from the United Kingdom on 6 August 1962, although politically it remains a Commonwealth realm, with Charles III as its king, 6:A - New Zealand switched from its pound to its decimal dollar in the 1960s, with "fern", "kiwi" and "zeal" also proposed as names, 7:A - It was Nirvana. As well as being the third element, Lithium was the third single to be taken off the blockbuster selling Nevermind. And you thought this series was all going to be chemistry questions, didn't you?, 8:A - The Facebook and Meta founder won gold and silver medals at his very first Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament in Redwood City, California. The 38-year-old tech billionaire said he took up an interest in the sport early on in the pandemic, 9:B - 92-year-old Colette Ferry opened her door to two gendarmes recently who said they would be taking away three amphibians. The officers said they were responding to a complaint by a neighbour unable to sleep because of the loud croaking they were making at all hours. Ferry told them that while the fish in the pond were hers, the frogs were squatting. It isn't even a frog in that picture, is it? That is an Australian cane toad. , 10:B - Nelson and his family live at 19 Fish Smell Drive, which would be enough to send anybody on a bullying spree, 11:A - Meloni is the first woman to hold the role in Italy, and has been leader of the far-right Brothers of Italy party since 2014. Meloni was greeted outside Downing Street by a small group of demonstrators carrying placards reading “stand up to racism” and “no to fascist Meloni”., 12:D - Queensland was separated from New South Wales in 1859, and Brisbane was founded as Edenglassie, 13:A - Fans were slightly baffled that the band ignored their three No 1 singles and instead played Welcome To The Pleasuredome, which stalled at No 2 when it was their fourth single. The band split acrimoniously decades ago, so maybe they could only stand to rehearse one song. Holly Johnson is staging an anniversary tour later this year – notably without the other four., 14:A - It is Duran Duran who are the odd ones out here. They were already inducted last year. Kate Bush, George Michael, Rage Against The Machine, Sheryl Crow, Missie Elliot, Willie Nelson and The Spinners will all now join the gaudy eMadame Tussauds of music in a building in Cleveland that cost $65m of public money to build, because clearly, it was beyond the music industry to fund it.
Scores
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0 and above.
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