DO NOT
AFTER
,” the sign read. You think I’m joking with the underline but whoever typed up that bad boy really wanted to bring their point home.
“THIS IS YOUR JOB. DEDICATE WORK TIME TO DISCUSSION OF NON-WORK TOPICS.
“DO NOT FACILITATE FRIENDSHIPS DURING WORK HOURS. EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS AND/OR HANG OUT WORK IS COMPLETE.”
The sad fucker who wrote the sign then urged folks to report colleagues if they’re caught “having non-work discussions on company time”.
In true Boomer fashion, the sign was emblazoned with a photo of one of the Minions (if my calculations are correct, it’s either Phil or Tom) with his arm pointing upwards.
“WORK IS NOT YOUR DAYCARE,” the text above his little yellow head read, in that classic meme font, no less.
Then, in front of the Minion’s wee shoes, was the word “TRUTH”.
Loads of folks were personally affronted by the inclusion of the Minion, and thought the freak who wrote the sign was disobeying their own rules.
“‘Don’t put Minions on workplace posters. This is work time, not arts and crafts. TRUTH!!!'” one person replied.
“‘The Minion you used in this poster violates your rule against discussing non-work related subjects. Please inform us what is the loophole you are using so that we can abuse it too,'” another wrote.
“ DEFINITELY did not envision Minions as part of his dystopia,” said a third.
I fear I’ll have to change my name and move to Middle America after admitting this, but the Minion was arguably the least offensive part of the sign. He’s just a little lad, a yellow Tic Tac with a heart of gold and denim overalls.
Literally everything else written on the sign was worse than the Minion. The suggestion that you’re meant to be a slave to your company and turn off the pleasant part of your brain which enjoys human contact and camaraderie. Forcing workers to subscribe to the notion that working and having fun are mutually exclusive. Encouraging snitching on your colleagues if you catch wind of them having “non-work discussions”. did not die for this.
Shooting the shit at work is an inherent employee right which, I would argue, only serves to improve productivity because we are not machines who can perfectly churn out work eight hours a day, five days a week. Taking five minutes out of the day to tell your colleagues about your dating endeavours is the verbal equivalent of dangling a carrot in front of a donkey; a little treat which encourages you to keep moving.
There’s also, you know, the fact that people don’t want to work in revoltingly toxic environments.
I hope whoever wrote this dogshit sign gets their comeuppance in the end. Comrades, we ride at dawn.
“work is not meant to be fun” by u/DiorRoses in mildlyinfuriatingGeorge Orwell Karl Marx
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