Labor’s extremely comfortable victory in Saturday’s Victorian election means that Dan Andrews might be immortalised in bronze some time in the next four years, a phrase which we assume is whispered in Peta Credlin’s ear by her most terrifying sleep paralysis demons.
Early next year, he will pass the 3000 days in office that qualify a premier for the honour. The Herald Sun is taking the news predictably well, getting the same reporter who gave us “cat-gate” to call for sanity:
Andrews’ political mandate means he’s earned the right to govern for another four years (gee, those words are hard to write).
… Let’s end this farce before the Big Dan becomes a reality.
Statues belong to world champions and life-changing visionaries, not politicians who keep getting elected because they are thought to be slightly less crap than the crap people running against them.
But surely no one could be more upset about all this than former premier and Crikey‘s estranged granddad Jeff Kennett. Kennett has been one of Andrews’ most strident critics throughout the COVID era. Who can forget, among many, many other of the nigh on incomprehensible warnings in August last year:
You are on notice Trolls, the goodies the silent majority are riding over the hill and coming to rescue the State
And they are not part of the Premiers [sic] social media team, paid for by us, but citizens tired of the abuse, of the loss of what Victoria was when the best State in Aus
So who brought in this piece of Stalinist worship, allowing cult-of-personality egomaniacs like Andrews to be immortalised? Let me check my notes. Oh, it was Jeff Kennett.
Kennett brought in the system in the lead-up to the 1999 election, which his party was expected to comfortably win and, by a truly shocking coincidence, would have pushed him into a third term and past the 3000-day mark himself.
As it turns out, his judgment on what the voters wanted was roughly as accurate as it was in January when he told The Australian: “I’m not too perturbed about a statue recognising his reign as the emperor of Victoria because I am convinced there will be a change of government.”
And to add to the sense of Greek tragedy of it all, Kennett now has to watch one of his greatest hate figures do one of two things: Andrews will either unveil a grandiose monument to his long reign, or will decide Kennett’s scheme is a bit gauche and self-aggrandising and opt out.
We asked Andrews’ office if there were any plans for a shrine for DanStans, a spiritual home for Drip Twitter, but it didn’t get back to us before deadline.
Will Dan Andrews toss this “honour” aside? Let us know by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.
