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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Kia Abdullah

A moment that changed me: I stepped into the boxing ring – and decades of quiet anger lifted

Kia after a session at Mickey's Boxing Gym, 2023
‘I felt lighter, freer, unchained from something heavy’ … Kia after a session at Mickey's Boxing Gym, 2023. Photograph: Kia Abdullah

On meeting me, you would never guess that I used to be an angry person. I’m talkative, sociable and self-possessed – but for nearly 20 years I lived with a quiet fury. It started with my parents, whose strict conservatism restricted everything in my life: what I ate, what I wore, where I went, what I thought. As immigrants from Bangladesh, they believed that control was the best way to protect their daughters, but it suffocated me.

I had to fight to go to university – for all the things that men in my community were given as a right. At first, my anger felt ambient – mild and ever-present – but it became something harder, more bitter, when I was pressured into an arranged marriage at the age of 24.

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