A woman who is being 'stalked' by a business contact she met at a work meeting says he hasn't stopped calling her and even dropping into her office to see her since. The woman wrote to trained counsellor Fiona Caine to ask for advice.
She said:
I met a guy at a conference a few weeks back, and although at first I thought he was OK, he got too pushy towards the end. I tried to avoid him entirely for the last day, but not before we’d swapped mobile numbers and company details.
The first Monday back at the office he called me, so it was clear he hadn’t got the message. I was really short with him on the phone, hoping this would put him off, but it didn’t stop him from calling me every day that week. He’s still calling most days, sometimes through the company.
More worryingly, he has started popping in at lunch times to see if I want to go out for a drink. I’ve told him ‘no’ every time and that I’m not interested, but he’s so thick-skinned he’s still not getting the message. I’ve told reception to tell him that I not available if he comes in again, but I am sure I saw him outside when I left to go home yesterday.
Should I just be nasty to get through to him?
H. I.
Fiona replied
I am not sure that’s a good idea, as you can’t know how he is going to react. Instead, I think you should do all you can to distance yourself from him. Block his number so that no more mobile calls can get through, you could also advise your service provider that you want to block nuisance calls. Then tell your company reception so that they too can block his number and/or stop putting calls through.
Then I think you should also consider contacting your local police. Despite being told you’re not interested, he’s repeatedly visited your place of work or called you. This is just the sort of repetitive behaviour that the police might regard as harassment or stalking, an offence that is chargeable under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.
You could also call the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0300.
If you have a problem you need help with, email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice. All letters are treated in complete confidence and, to protect this privacy, Fiona is unable to pass on your messages to other readers. Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence.
