It’s excellent toilet reading, I say, when I’m talking about my book of some of these columns. People laugh, but on the quiet I mean it as a great compliment to myself, having done a great deal of satisfying reading over the years while perched upon my throne. I don’t mean to be coarse. And I am mindful, too, of medical advice that says we shouldn’t spend any longer than we have to going about our business. I also sense that it’s probably a bloke thing.
It’s also, on reflection, possibly an ADHD thing – being forced to sit still awhile, which is good, but finding it impossible to sit in that moment without needing some distraction, which is less good. Having said that, with nothing other than reading matter available to occupy my mind, it’s an opportunity to really sit and concentrate for a bit.
When I was growing up, there was always a selection of books available. On reflection, it must have been carefully curated for the specific purpose of accompanying the matter at hand. There was always at least one book of jokes there, as well as collections of funny and/or clever things said by everyone from Spike Milligan to Winston Churchill.
Mostly, though, there were editions of the only recently defunct Reader’s Digest. I loved Reader’s Digest. And, by the way, the apostrophe did go before the “s”, although now I’m not sure that’s how it should have been. Anyway, there was always something in each edition to absorb me. OK, call it journalism-lite if you like – although I wouldn’t – but there was some brilliant stuff in there. And always just the right length.
Remembering these toilet-libraries now, something strikes me about them: an unwritten rule that no other book should be added or taken away. I swear I never saw the Reader’s Digest anywhere else in the house. Even if I was halfway through an article, or a Milligan story, it never occurred to me to take it out of that room. The books in the downstairs toilet of the house I grew up in are exactly the same now as they ever were. And that’s as it should be.
Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist
