POLITICAL CAPITAL
Ten years ago today, the United Kingdom began a summer romance – with, of course, itself. A few Olympic opening-ceremony nods to the NHS – naturally, featuring more than one patient to a bed – and suddenly, austerity and the hostile environment disappeared, structural racism, sexism and classism vanishing with them. In a surge of collective ecstasy, the nation came together as one, sharing a memorable fortnight of peace, love and unity. And though ticket-pricing made the actual competition inaccessible to almost everyone, happily, the post-Games era of unaffordable homes, worsening poverty and an ailing healthcare system is far more democratic.
Consequently, it was no great surprise to see David Cameron emerge from post-Brexit hiding to trumpet himself on social media disgrace Twitter – and Boris Johnson was there too, congratulating England’s women on their brilliant thrashing of Sweden. These two missives, apparently unrelated, are in fact connected because both feature failed leaders seeking to harness the joy of sport while, at the same time, inadvertently misdirecting from policy disasters that are its precise antithesis: Cameron’s Brexit referendum legitimised and exacerbated racial tensions and economic inequality; Johnson has repeatedly advocated for laws that harm women in disproportionate manner and his government has binned promises to clamp down on sexual harassment and workplace misogyny in its flagship employment bill. Consequently, the response of Liz Truss, minister for women and equalities, is far more telling, so for the benefit of the uninitiated, here it is, in full:
All of which is to say that, although the point of football is simple pleasure, its lessons of teamwork, equality and love must not be ignored. Enjoying Sarina Wiegman’s brilliant team is incumbent upon us all, but if we cannot harness their inspiration to make a better world, then we probably studied PPE at Oxford.
But the Lionesses are not finished yet, the hilarious yet soul-crushing manner of their final defeat still to be determined. Their opponents on Sunday will be either “the French” or “the Germans”, both of whom are well-equipped to take the title and whose semi-final this evening promises to be a jazzer. In classic, time-honoured style, France’s manager began the competition by falling out with some of her better players, and though her team started the competition in tremendous form, they’ve been less impressive since losing Marie-Antoinette Katoto to an ACL injury. Germany, meanwhile, are an extremely capable outfit: dangerous in attack, yet to concede a goal in the tournament, and champions in eight of the last 12 editions. Or, put another way, The Fiver has no idea what’s going to happen next – but is certain that at some point, a dubious politician will attempt to make capital from it.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“This is the most proud I’ve been of any England team ever. Whatever happens in the final now, if girls are not allowed to play football in their PE [lessons] – just like the boys can – what are we doing? We’ve got to make sure they are able to play … because this is going to inspire a lot of people” – once again, Ian Wright, Wright’s right!
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Give your ears a double podcast treat with Women’s Football Weekly and your regular Football Weekly both on that England win.
FIVER LETTERS
“May I be the last of 1,057 others to ask if the Swedes didn’t turnip?” – Michael Robson (and no others).
“So ‘pitch invasions, pyro, lobbing objects and drug use could all end up with fans being banned from stadiums and being reported to police (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). Really? Weren’t all those already things that should be reported to the police? Or are they only just now being made illegal in the parallel universe of football stadia?” – Lee Smith.
“So the Premier League wants to provide financial support to the Football League but only if they provide opportunities for their younger players to go out on loan. Isn’t this exactly the way it used to work before they started hoovering up all the kids into academies?” – Nick Livesey.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And you can always tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Michael Robson.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
The FA has welcomed new research that has found conclusive evidence that repetitive head impacts can cause degenerative brain disease and offered its support in attempts to diagnose chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) in people still alive.
In what is definitely not an interfering power grab and surely motivated entirely by altruism, the Premier League wants EFL clubs to commit to developing young British loan talent as part of a new financial distribution deal.
After what appears to have been an 11-day flight, Lisandro Martínez has completed a £48.3m move from Ajax to Manchester United.
Bayern CEO Oliver Kahn says the club considered bolting on CR7 to bolster their brand but the potential impact on the actual football got in the way. “We came to the conclusion that despite all the appreciation for Cristiano, he would not have fit in our philosophy,” he blabbed.
The latest in a long line of deals we thought had already been completed actually being completed sees Gianluca Scamacca finalise his £35.5m move to West Ham. Meanwhile, Juventus have approached Chelsea about scoring sensation Timo Werner.
And Marcus Rashford has guest-edited a special edition of the Beano, praising how it “brings together all sorts of different children” and inserting himself into storylines in which he creates “mischief and mayhem alongside iconic characters such as Bananaman, Billy Whizz and The Bash Street Kids.” Fiver Jr will be all over that.
STILL WANT MORE?
More England Euros reaction: Jonathan Liew marvels in a performance without angst or heartbreak and then waxes lyrical about that Alessia Russo backheel, while Louise Taylor praises the way Sarina Wiegman’s side weathered the early storm.
Meanwhile Sarah Rendell previews the other semi, between Germany and France.
This week’s Knowledge looks at huge gaps between top and bottom clubs, record runners-up streaks and more hot dates in club names.
Our latest Premier League previews spotlight Brighton and Chelsea.
You want a League One preview? Here you go, then.
Today’s Rumour Mill toys with the thought of Anthony Martial hotfooting it to Juventus, Timo Werner joining Newcastle and much more.
And if it’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!
