It’s hard to articulate what depression feels like. When I’m in a pit, everything feels harder, more depleting, a struggle. I’m zapped of inspiration, motivation, creativity — the spark that makes me feel vibrant and alive. When you have depression, it can seem like everyone has it figured out except you. Like you’re flailing and failing, and you’ll never feel balanced again, much less happy enough to thrive and create.
Then when I’m on the upswing, I get “depression amnesia” where I truly can’t quite recall what it felt like living under that boulder of melancholy. When I’m feeling buoyant, productive, sharp and inspired, I figure that’s how “normal” people feel most days. I think that’s one of the many reasons that listening to extremely accomplished and brilliant writer, comedian and actor Joel Kim Booster wallow in the muck of his own shitty feelings on a recent episode of John Moe’s Depresh Mode podcast feels special, even profound. It’s an archive of what depression really sounds like.
