Jennifer from Fort Wayne, Indiana, recently called into Dave Ramsey‘s “EntreLeadership” show to talk about a serious issue at her veterinary practice.
Despite generating over $5 million in annual revenue and employing more than 40 people, her biggest challenge wasn't business-related. It was her husband, who’s also her business partner.
‘That's Just the Way I Am’
Jennifer described Anthony, her husband of 16 years, as the emotional and disruptive force in the company. During the call, she came right out and said, “What do you do when your spouse and business partner is the donkey on the team?”
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“When something upsets him or doesn't go his way, he can get very loud and he tends to say whatever comes to his mind to whoever is around—and it’s typically not very pleasant,” she said.
She and the practice manager tried speaking to him about his tone and behavior, but Anthony brushed it off, saying, “Well, that’s just the way I am. I shouldn’t have to watch what I say. If they don’t like it, they should just quit. I am the boss.” In one outburst, he even threatened to sell the business to a corporate buyer and start fresh.
Ramsey, known for his no-nonsense advice, asked her, “How old is this little boy?” When Jennifer said Anthony was 49, Ramsey replied, “God, he’s emotionally 14.”
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Jennifer admitted this wasn’t isolated to the workplace, as Anthony’s behavior was consistent at home too. That’s when Ramsey cut deeper. “You don’t really have a business problem or a leadership problem or a donkey problem,” he said. “You’ve got a guy who desperately needs to sit down with a counselor and with his pastor and start some personal growth.”
Ramsey urged Jennifer to consider marriage counseling, even if she had to go alone. “I mean, you truly don’t like this guy, that’s pretty crazy,” he said. “At a minimum, you don’t respect him.”
He warned that if things continued this way, the marriage likely wouldn’t survive another five years. “You just called him a donkey on a major national podcast. It’s pretty sad,” he said. “This has been deteriorating for a while. Probably five years ago, it wasn’t quite this bad.”
Ramsey acknowledged how impressive their practice was, but pointed out that all of it was at risk. “Anytime someone says, ‘It’s just the way I am,’ then my answer is always: OK, change. Because the way you are kind of sucks.”
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